once duncan an' elwyn's blog

2006-03-18T22:41:00.000-05:00

Moving!

Friends and readers, I'm changing my blog title and name; in part, because the old title (duncan-elwyn) simply doesn't fit anymore. As some of you know, the original intent of this blog was for my friend, Elwyn, and I to have a joint venture to develop, with him moving far away. However, as most of you will have noticed, it's pretty much just my blog now. (Elwyn is simply too busy to post now unfortunately--brilliant as he is!) The new URL will more accurately reflect not just who the author is now, but, hopefully, be less confusing to those readers who happen to stumble upon here every now and then.

The good thing is, this also gives me an excellent opportunity to discover just how many people actually bother to check this blog (all whopping half dozen of you or so) and how frequently! (I wonder how long it will be until anyone even notices that things have changed!)

If you'd like to continue reading my posts, then please leave a comment here with an email address, or conversely, email me at givemeyourblog@yahoo.com and I'll give you my new blog name address. I'll look forward to 'seeing' you over there!

In the interim, I'll be updating the new blog to reflect these changes and mixing things up a bit perhaps.

God bless each one of you who have enriched my online experience or given me encouragement along the way.

Thank you.

-"Duncan"

2006-03-04T22:36:00.000-05:00

The goodness of God and the riches of His Church

Today has been filled with house chores -- cleaning loos, buying and setting mousetraps, filing paperwork and old bills, etc. Nothing very exciting.

However, this morning I got up earlier than my normal weekday and went out on a lovely walk with our two dogs. I love that early morning air--it smells so good! Why I don't do this more often, I don't know. Still, I got some excersize and was invigorated.

Anyway, as I walked about I prayed and reflected on how I can trust God even when the world is full of evil -- horrible things happen to innocent people, and yet in spite of it all God is worthy to be praised! He cannot be blamed for what we (humans) choose to do with our free choice. (Would we rather be slaves to His every whim?) It is good to know that everyone has something they can thank God for if they choose to acknowlege Him as the giver of good things, of life itself! We can even just thank God for the simple things: the smell of morning air, the colors of creation, the comforting feel of warmth on our skin when we're cold or the fresh feel of crisp cold when we're too warm, etc, etc!

Later, I saw a piece of styrofoam caught in the smallest thread of all that remained of an old spider's web. There it dangled against the bathtub, gently quivering as if floating in mid-air whilst the central heating circulated the room. Isn't it amazing how the stickiness of the tiniest thread of some old web can still be sticky enough to hold onto something after such a long time after it's initial purpose? God's universe is so intricate and incredible! Even the smallest details have been worked out.

Later still, I sat again against the side of the tub on the floor, cupping my hands over a warm cup of tea, and thought of the myriad of workers labouring for the gospel/for Christ, often the most Christ-like, most humble, being the ones most forgotten and least appreciated or understood. I thought of all the pastors and disciples who labour away in communist and Muslim countries in fear of their lives, but propelled to continue in spite of come what may as their lives have taken on greater purpose than just what they can get out of it for themselves. I thought of and prayed for inner-city parishes and Catholic priests who feed the poor, minister to the gangs and comfort the runaway and usually abused kids on the streets. I thought too of forensic scientists and police detectives I've read about who without their faith in God couldn't go on doing what they do because of all the agony/torture they see in their work but nevertheless press on for the greater good.

As my thoughts drifted from one group to another I was reminded of how marvellous God's church is! How incredibly dark and lonely this world would be (and would have continued) without the millions of touch-points of love given because of Christ and those who truly knew and know Him. So many things we take for granted became solidified and established because of great men and women of faith: humility, the idea of forgiveness and service to those in dire circumstance, adoptions, orphanages, hospitals, the abolition of slavery, food shelters and homes for the poor, Red Cross, education, literacy, books, schools, universities, YMCAs, the equality of women, pregnancy and crisis centres, and the list goes on and on and on. Some have left their Christian genesis, but thank God for Christ's body here on Earth!

I felt led to pray for the workers in the field who continue to labour for Christ, so often for nothing but an invisible, perhaps far off, yet rich reward. I prayed for greater unity and strength of message amongst the saints -- that we could rise up in "holiness," proclaiming the truth in a deceptive world of selfish lies and vain pursuits and pleasures; not being, reflecting, or mouth-piecing the World by adopting its desires, tastes, opinions and shallow embrace of sin in the vein hope it is love, but instead, reaching this World with the only liberation there truly is--that is freedom and forgiveness and change in Christ! Thank God for the multitudes of changed lives the world over -- those who have had their wounds, addictions and hearts healed; and all those who are compelled forward to reach out daily to the needs around them.

-d.

2006-01-20T23:40:00.000-05:00

More on Alpha... ad in cinemas

I was reading in the "Alpha News" paper I just got in the mail from England that Alpha UK has made a professional 'trailer' ad for general release in cinemas across the Country (shown during the previews) to get people aware and interested in going to Alpha. It has been hugely successful and in its short run has increased awareness of the 'brand' and what Alpha is about to around 22% of adults (about 10 million people) with more and more people attending. Anyway, the soccer player, rock climber (youngest Brit to clim Everest) and model all are famous Brits for their professions. (The model actually goes to HTB.) Anyway, I think the video is absolutely brilliant!! Just goes to show that often less is more!

See it here: Alpha cinema advert

-d.

2006-01-17T23:50:00.000-05:00

The London Church, HTB and Alpha

Next time I go back to London I want to go to this church: St. Paul’s, Hammersmith. It sounds great, and with the right balance on things. I particularly like what the pastor (vicar) says about community.

Actually, I came across this site through a link from my old church, HTB (Holy Trinity Brompton), in inner London. It is in fact my ‘home church’. I say ‘home’ church in that this is where I grew up to young adulthood, and to this day whenever in London I always make it a point to visit there. Whenever I go back and experience their dynamic worship, insightful, intelligent sermons, enthusiasm from having such a young group of believers (not just in age, but in that over 75% of the congregation are new converts within the last 3 years), I get inspired! Of course, I also love the Englishness of it all, that is so familiar, and brings back so many memories of not just significant events like being confirmed there, but home groups, pastorates and talks over good cuppa’s and tea biscuits/digestives.

HTB is probably most widely known through its Alpha course, a multi-week evangelism course for non-believers and those new to the faith, to learn more about Christ, the Bible, etc. It is positioned as a forum in which no question is too taboo to ask—a place to come “Discover the Meaning of Life”. It has had tremendous success in the UK, and actually around the world, with an average of over 70% conversions for those who attend. Once participants learn the compelling reason and facts for Christ, it is hard to dispute. Plus one finds out the genuine love of others and the joy of real Christian fellowship. I think the ultimate success lies in the fact the course and meetings have been seriously prayed over and, importantly, towards the end of the several months course, there is the chance to go to a “Holy Spirit weekend retreat”. Here, many come dynamically face-to-face with the power and Holiness of a very real and personable God. Many are baptized in the Holy Spirit, convicted of their sin and need for redemption, physically healed, delivered of addictions, etc, and from there they see the transformative effects of such a new birth. Marriages are healed, relationships mended, lasting inner peace found, etc. This in turn compells others to find out more themselves, to discover it’s not at all about dead, stuffy no-can-do religion but want-to-do life and relationship with God!

Actually, my wife was, herself, born again there, not at Alpha but at HTB (completely unexpected then as she was still in New Age, in denial of sin’s existence and so forth)! The Holy Spirit was so powerfully present that she was compelled to make that step of faith and then too was forever transformed (instantly in her case). (My father, not a believer, marveled, and still does, at her complete change of person. He has often said he would not have believed it if he hadn’t witnessed it himself. She was also powerfully physically healed too.)

Anyway, there is hope for continued revival in places like Britain, largely because of the Spirit working through avenues like Alpha, anchored with prayer as an effective tool reaching those outside of the church with the Good News of the living Christ!

It is encouraging and probably surprising to some here, that HTB itself is Anglican, but not ‘dead’ or ‘stuffy’ Anglicanism as it used to be when I was a little boy. It changed dramatically as I grew into my teens, in part through the exposure to more of God’s Spirit and Him being invited/allowed! I thank God for godly men like the former vicar, Sandy Miller, and that he invited people like John Wimbur and others. It truly makes a difference who is in charge, so to speak. As my cousin often has said, a church will only be as strong as the pastor or eldership over it. They can either lead the congregation to greater riches in Christ or squelch the Spirit in one form or another.

One other exciting church, in terms of powerful, energetic worship, at least, and street ministry, is Hillsong, London. (Yes, that’s the church originally started in Australia, and matter of a fact, a lot of the pastors and support staff are originally from there.) Wow! When there, it’s like being in ‘God's mosh-pit’, if there ever was such a thing! I love too that those who attend are from every possible ethnicity imaginable. I love the diversity of God’s kingdom, black and white, rich and poor, young and old. But, with that said, Hillsong’s services are not for the faint of heart who can’t take ‘loud’ music! Actually, admittedly, I found it rather too loud for my sensitive ears too, even though I was getting right into it! Ha! Even so, I can see the Lord working there, and love their earnest desire and passion.

I am blessed to have my life long friend attend both churches, and with my cousin and his wife still at HTB, and some others visiting, I’ve been able to stay fairly well connected to HTB. Actaully, I also get HTB’s “Focus” newspaper, filled with incredible stories of God’s touch in people’s lives, old faithful and young converts alike. I have also been fortunate enough in visits over the years since moving Stateside to sometimes attend one of the pastorate groups, or special occasions like the New Year’s Eve bash, etc. It is good to see God moving though such a myriad of people. I just love it there. That, to me, is the way church is to be, or at least can be. Of course, every church has to have its own distinctives to be effective in their local area, but the anointing, passion and effectiveness remains the same when directed by His Spirit, regardless.

Speaking of ‘distinctives’, one of the other things I love about HTB too is that the presenters and pastors speak well and intelligently! I enjoy listening to the often poetic, diverse breadth of words implored, the works of art and literature borrowed from, to illustrate some point. I should add this is not done for some flashy show, but simply because they generally are just better educated, and it shows! Seriously! That is trivial, I know, but for me, personally, I get tired of church presentations and sermons so often ‘needing’ to be presented as necessarily ‘cool’ or ‘catchy’, using such common phraseology of the day. OK, again, that is purely, utterly shallow, I admit! Now, where was I? -- Back to the ‘meatier’ stuff, I suppose…

I’ve heard from those working within HTB, or heavily involved in their ministry, that everything they do is done to the highest standard. They work hard and pray hard! Now, is that to say the church is perfect? Certainly not. It isn’t! But, God does reward their stewardship and the fruit is abundantly evident. They have been able to transplant their members into other dying Anglican churches, and literally, entirely rejuvenate and renovate empty parishes into something alive, transforming and wonderful, reaching the un-churched in other neighbourhoods. St. Paul’s, Hammersmith, is one such church.

Well, as you can tell, I can get carried away when discussing things like this — the move of God in London, and to a greater extent, in Britain, through such avenues. So, if you’re ever in London, check out HTB in particular. I’m sure you will be blessed! There is something for everyone, from those more ‘high-churched’ to those of us more non-denominational, evangelical and/or charismatic.

-d.

2006-01-16T00:02:00.000-05:00

Ennui

In liue of one of my earlier posts a few days ago, I liked what our pastor said today in his sermon: "You'll serve your family first when you serve God first." Praise God for that. A real answer to my prayers and reflections this week.

He then went on to discuss diligence. "To be diligent, find out what motivates you." Hmmm... that's a hard one for me. I feel like no'thing' really motivates me, grabs me, inspires me beyond measure. That doesn’t mean I don't enjoy certain things but really I can't help comparing it to my eternity and feeling like whatever it is really doesn't matter that much in the long run. I mean, I watched American football yesterday for the first time this season, and the first time in years all the way through an entire game, and although it was a great game, in the end, even after admittedly whooping and yelling quite a bit, really, it's just a game. It amazed me how just 15 minutes later it was almost like it had never happened. All the 'glory' and victory seemed so empty in the end. It reminded me again that you can't find your ultimate fulfillment in temporal things.

So what does motivate me the most? After reading and hearing testimony of the very real move of God, his work in others lives, probably my wife and children and those I love, but how can one make a full time pursuit out of this, let alone a living, say?

I am creative. I've made a living being creative, but it doesn't really grab me. It all seems so futile and boring and vain in the end. Part of me wants to get back into painting with oils, but even that seemingly tangible, reachable goal seems too difficult. That takes time, and is hard to do in a family home environment. I tried once here cleaning my brushes with mineral spirits but then it took ages to clean the sink and I never did figure out how to safely dispose of the turpentine! You see, I am already defeated before I even begin! Pathetic really. I could draw or use some other medium but none of that really challenges me. I could design on my home computer with my system and software getting antiquated, but really that too doesn't inspire me. It all feels like variations on the same theme, regardless of whatever I do or however good it is. In the end I really don't care enough about any of it. It is too solitary when I am a people person and yet, ironically enough, I am becoming more introverted, in that I find I want more time on my own to recharge than ever before. For example, doing this blog is something I would have never been interested in before as it would have been considered too solitary.

What's the matter with me? Maybe it's that my birthday is coming up and I'm going to be officially middle-aged! I feel like I haven't lived to my full potential and now it feels pointless, too late. And anyways, everything I do seems sort of shallow if it takes away from meeting my (my alone) responsibilities of being a Dad and a husband. (DW mentions here that I become a very boring person to be with if I don't take up other interests outside of her and the kids--that's one of the reasons I am blogging now and started to blog in the first place!! LOL! Yes, my dear wife loves me! :) )

I am involved in some things that can be considered ministry but even those can just feel like duties. It's when God just shows up when one least expects it that I live for. That most seems to come when you are open to whatever, to not safeguarding or regulating your schedule so much that you block out the option for the Holy Spirit to move.

The pastor also asked today if we are as much passionate, as much on-fire as before in our lives? "God is not there saying, 'Oh, he's too hot, better turn him down a bit!'" No, God would rather have us hot or cold! I don't know about answering that question either. In many respects I feel that I am passionate for God to be made manifest in my life and those around me as ever. I live and breathe my faith daily, well maybe more so in prayer and thought than actual action, depending on how you look at it. I can't go more than a couple of hours without somehow thinking about Him or something related to my faith. I pray a lot, no less than at any other time. I read the Word as much as I've ever been able to get into it (which isn’t that deep honestly) and yet, I feel bored and uninspired a lot of the time, to my detriment. I feel burdened by responsibilities and although, in many regards, I have huge faith in the big things of life, it's in the details I can be so faithless.

Well, I'm being honest and doing a soul check here. I don't know what the answers are, but I know that I need to be taken ahold of more with His vision. I am perhaps too negative, cynical, to do that. I see people work themselves up into a spiritual high, or forcing themselves into some modus-operandi, but that too seems pointless as it seems more self-driven than God-driven. OK, I know this is sounding like Ecclesistes isn't it? I think the biggest let down in some regards is that I am starting to more fully realise that actually no one has all, or even a lot of great answers... not that they should though, but even the ones who think they do, don't! No one is really an expert in the matters of life. I've gone to people for advice on things, to seek counsel as the Word says, but in the end it seems like, really, most times I didn't really get anything out of it that I couldn’t have come up with myself. On one hand though, this let down is a great thing, something my wife was shown a long time ago: that in the end everyone is going to let you down. Only God can be one's true solace.

Our greatest ideals and aspirations will always be tainted by our humanity. It's meant to be that way. God alone is the source of all wisdom and He alone fills that void. He filled my yearning/searching for truth when I was a teen and young adult and has blessed me with his incredible goodness and grace through my adult years. I have experienced Him profoundly, am mindful that we are to walk in obedience, pray and pray in the spirit, and so why this ennui?!

Well, being that this has been quite Ecclesiastes oriented, why not end with Soloman's concluding paragraph on the vanity of life:

"...Here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep His commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil."
(Ecc. 12, 13-14)

I also like Paul's last lettter to Timothy where he quotes a common expression of the early church:
"If we died with Him,
we will also live with Him;
If we endure,
we will also reign with Him,
If we disown Him,
he will also disown us;
If we are faithless,
He will remain faithful,
for He cannot disown Himself."
(2 Timothy, 2: 11-13)

2006-01-15T18:42:00.000-05:00

.letting go

Thanks to Steve Bremner's blog ("Just your Average Revolutionary"), I came across another I have been frequenting for a couple of months now that I think this blog too warrants a link in the right margin. (Added later: I found her link in one of the comments made at some point. Who knows how this blogger got there. I love this curious world of blogs and how one gets from place to place.)

Anyway, .letting go (http://livingonmyknees.blogspot.com) is by another young blogger, 19 years old I think,...and Canadian (I've got to link to some British blogs or at least American ones at some point too)! What I most enjoy about her blog is that she is truly an excellent writer/wordsmith; regardless of what she writes about I just enjoy reading it! The way she writes about things is a pleasure to 'experience', much like oftentimes observing art. This blogger (I think her name is Meagan) can write about something as seemingly ‘ho-hum’ as baking, making soup, or walking over shattered glass on the pavement, or whatever, and make it engaging, even inspiring! For an excellent example of her craftsmanship, check out the post from Jan 6th of this year, entitled, "to be grateful".

Another interesting thing about this blog is the writer's journey to and in Christ, being only about 3 years a Christian, and the fact she lives a different life to most of us, simply by being a Vegan. Yes, Vegan. (I don't think I'd have enough blogs to link to, to bother to make another category on the right for "Vegan Blogs" only! LOL!) Personally, I wouldn't/couldn't do it myself but admire her 'stick-to-it-iveness' (is that a real word?) and stance, not really having that much admiration myself for hunting as a sport, the inhumane treatment of battery hens, young calves for veal, and so forth. Anyway, maybe you will enjoy it too. Be prepared however, there are some, shall we say, more unusual entries here too, on such things as shaving one’s head, etc.!

I don't know, I think Elwyn (if you're out there, reading this…which you should be! Ha!), you and your DW would enjoy the colourful divergence of this blog; different to the bland homogeny our Christian suburban culture so suffers from here, as we've often discussed before as couples. (That's one of the things I miss about London, actually). It's refreshing to step into other ‘sub-cultures’ and experiences also found in Christ. That is one of the highlights blogs can offer. I like interacting with those different to myself.

-d.

2006-01-13T23:59:00.000-05:00

What personality type are you?

I've taken the Myers Briggs test quite a few times over the years, including two exhaustive ones and have ranged from being an ENFJ to INFJ, and this time was again ENFJ, as usual, but apparently everthing was more moderate instead of higher percentages in some categories. Usually, career-wise, I get the same top 3: commerical designer/artist, professor, and then pastor/social worker, all areas I have been interested in at some point. Anyway, here's tonight's score.

-d.

Your #1 Match: ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

What's Your Personality Type?

2006-01-11T23:26:00.000-05:00

Looking back to Christmas, the Eucharist and remembering our Wedding Day

You know, I never 'talked' much about our Christmas but to say it was jam-packed, particularly after the main fesitivities were over. Still, there was something I wanted to go back to, having read some about it on another's blog.

This blogger was bringing into question why so many evangelical churches were not having services on Christmas Day itself. He found it sort of hypocritical when at the same time they are saying that public expressions of Jesus are being taken out, these churches also were not offering any public celebration of the incarnate on this day of all days! There was also some very enlightening comments following, left by some of his readership. Two pastors commented that it made sense, and shouldn't they too have a day off during a holiday to actually spend with family? Of all the comments, those were the ones that really struck me. This harkens back to my previous post, but what do statements like that really say? Does it not say that these pastors essentially didn't consider their laity their family? And yet, you can be sure, if they are typical evangelical pastors, they stress how we all are 'family', brothers and sisters, etc. But, when the rubber hits the road, really, where do these people, such as these two pastors, typically spend their Xmas but with blood family? Whether believers or not makes very little difference for some.

(I think I have grown weary or people calling me "brother" but having no real intention to treat me as one. If you never call me, or don't treat me like one, why say it?)

Anyway, another thing this blog brought up was that you could be sure "these 'iconoclast' Catholics" would be going to worship together on Christmas Day! That is so true! One arguement one might have heard during this time was that, well, we can worship Him where we're at, we don't need to go to church to do it! Yes, exactly! I actually agree; but then why do some of these same people then suggest that non church type assemblies are not really church, not really the same thing, or stress the importance of corporate worship (which i agree with too)?! How can it work one way but not the other?

Well, as it is, as I had my niece visiting from England, we wanted a more traditional, quieter, reflective type service to attend on Xmas eve and so looked forward to going to a midnight service at the Episcopal church I like to attend on that night only! (Funny, they must think I am one of those Christmas/Easter Christians only!) I like to go there becasue it reminds me of services during this season back home in England. I love the candlelight and 'more serious' tone of the whole thing. It's just a personal preference really. At this particular church, they hang beautiful little coloured candles from 'invisible' wire suspended from the very high rafters above and dropped like a lace of shimmering little jewels. It is so sweet, so simple and lovely.

I used to often go to the midnight xmas eve service there with another charismatic, evangelical friend of ours who would always spend Christmas Day with us. She too had no family around and enjoyed the church at this time like I did. After she died of cancer later, I have continued to go on my own each year, and so it was fun to know I would have my niece with me this time.

So, at 10:30 p.m. that night we rushed off to this service only to find that this was the first year I've known where they actually moved up the service to 9:00 pm! So, by the time we got there, the whole thing was over, all the lights were out and it was completely deserted. On the bright side, I got to drive my niece to one of my favourite cozy hamlet type houses nearby that is always so tastefully decorated with little lights on the white picket fence and candles in the little old fashioned paneled windows. It reminded her of an English farm house, something I had never considered before. (It has become a tradition for me to go by there after the midnight 'mass' and imagine what it's like in that Old World style house. It always brings good feelings to me, and is a place where I like to pull the car over and reflect and pray before then driving home, finishing the last of the Christmas wrappings and then collapsing into bed!)

When Christmas morn arrived, my niece and I decided to give it another shot and took off again, so did actually end up celebrating the incarnation at 'church' on Christmas day after all! It wasn't quite the same ambience without the little candles glowing like pieces of stained glass and seemed more high church than in years past, with more prayer book responsive reading (never liked those much) but I did get to go up and enjoy taking the Eucharist kneeling and handed to me by the priest, something I find more reverential simply because of my Anglican upbringing, not to say it really is though! (Actually, the church, being Episcopal, has tended to resist the Holy Spirit when He has moved in that parish in times past and I’ve seen some pretty telling bumper stickers there for years running that might suggest a general animosity to those who are actually born again.)

But, I have to honestly say I like the way the traditional Eucharist is done a whole lot better than little crackers and grape juice in cheap plastic cups! No, give me a mysterious wafer and a shared solid chalice type cup with really deep, sweet Merlot type wine in it, so rich, it reminds me of the preciousness of His blood shed for us. I love to come and humble myself at the altar and imagine myself, rather like the woman who said, "just say the word and I will be healed", or the one who knew that even dogs receive the scraps that fall from the table. I like the priest saying, “This is the body of Christ broken for you, the blood of Christ poured out for you.” It reminds me more of what it must have felt like for those disciples in the Passover when Jesus first uttered these shocking words to them. I also like that it takes me out of my comfort zone–no passing the elements to where we’re seated, or being given to me by another member of the laity as was even done at the last Xmas Eve mass I went to last year at the local Catholic church! (No, I didn’t actually take it there anyway as I was rather unceremoniously told by an ex coworker who I bumped into there that I couldn’t take it as I wasn’t Catholic. I wanted, in part, to ask him how he could when he consistently took the Lord’s name in vain!? Then again, I didn’t want to make anyone stumble, so decided to refrain and enjoy the Mass for what it was anyway——a little too much incense but really quite beautiful in its own way. I could tell the priest was a Godly, devoted man and I left there with prayers of gratitude for his service to the Lord.)

The traditional communion also has a special place in my heart as it was the first ‘meal’ my wife and I had after exchanging vows. When we both closed our eyes as the Rector prayed over us, one hand over each of our bowed heads as we knelt at the front of the church, we both sensed Jesus so strongly! I felt like He was standing right there where the priest was. I felt like if I opened my eyes I’d see Him right there. He was so very physically present that I was certain I could reach out my hand and touch his robe, but didn’t in fear of His holiness! What was particularly wonderful about all this, is that both my wife and I had similar experiences (unbeknownst to ourselves by that point) and were discussing it when this older French lady came rushing up to us across the yard, so very excited as she had seen her first vision ever and had to share it with us. As it turns out, she had seen Jesus standing between us with His hands over our heads too, praying for each of us! I remember at the time I wasn’t even that surprised to learn this as I already knew he had been very present but this just reconfirmed it more so for me later.

Anyway, there’s a lot more miracles revolved around our marriage but my point in bringing this up was just to affirm why traditional communion has had such depth for me at times.

-d.

2006-01-10T21:26:00.000-05:00

Eternal vs. temporal living

It’s crucial as a Christian to be involved with the Body of Christ (His Church). The whole Christian life is about living for others. It’s not merely some ‘no personal sacrifice or cost to you’ type existence. The culture loves that easy, feel good only kind of spirituality--“Just me and God”, where there’s no accountability, where everything is entirely personal, going from one self-flattery/self-centred purpose driven high to another. (It’s like when I hear people say they are Buddhists yet don’t really know anything about Buddhism but it sounds good, or even those raised Christian who might say they are Christian yet don’t actually want to hear what Jesus and the Bible has to say on matters as they would rather do things the way they alone see fit!) That is far too easy and never does/did Christ call us to that! We are to be “one as He is one”! That’s some serious intimacy! That can only happen when we put aside our own time/agendas and actually get really involved with other believers. We are to laugh with those who laugh, cry with those who cry. It takes getting to know someone well beyond the superficial or infrequent conversation or visit. It takes building trust, being vulnerable and, being able to get to that point of praying with one another and for others too. “Where two or more are gathered in my name, there I am in their midst also.”

But, with that clarified, I should state too that it seems to us almost everyone we know is more ‘successful’, more achieving their long term goals and daily projects than we are. Even simple things like making time to strip old paint off of doors seems to always fall last on the list of things to do as such things pale in comparison to the weightier needs/issues. I know we aren’t to compare, but I know too that there has got to be a balance with fellowship and accomplishing the things one has been given to do (see last entry). On one hand, it’s easy to put all these sort of projects and agendas above others and to become self-serving (anything can be that), but on the other hand, we need to take care of our own responsibilities too, particularly for those we are directly responsible–our immediate families—spouse and kids, and one’s household!

I admire those who are able to tend to a loving, cozy home in which their family feels nurtured, and those who seem to be able to accomplish one task after another (but not if consistently done at the expense of the living church, playing our part in the body, etc.). So, how can one do all this and yet really remain/be ‘family’ with those who are one’s ‘true’/ultimate brothers, and sisters in Christ? I think there can be a tendency in our frenetic world for us to ‘marginalise’ other believers as not being ‘real’ family, when in actuality they are actually more so! (Something to consider when hanging with only one’s blood family during the holidays, if tradition, particularly if they aren’t believers, say.) Our Spirit connection, eternally speaking, in terms of how God sees it, runs far deeper than our inherited blood ties! (This union is most realised when in the joy of real Christian fellowship—“how good it is when brethren dwell together in unity!”) Yet, do we do this and if so, how do we find that balance I mentioned above?

I love what our Kenyan brothers and sisters have described to us in how it is back in their homeland—they always have time for each other! They find it sorrowful how much we Western Christians are robbed of spiritual vitality by always having to schedule everything in, slot others in as if they are some mere commodity, and yet often not even realizing just how destitute we are! There, they can enjoy a deeper spiritual corporate existence. Life is simply slower I suppose …and with that they have their priorities in order too I think. (I often think that if you want a taste of what’s to come in Heaven, hang out and fellowship with Kenyans and other African saints!)

Well, anyway, I have a lot to lean about finding that right balance for our own family, perhaps more from the other end of things then what might be more typical in our culture. I think we can tend to put off things too much for the ‘joy of the Lord’, so to speak, and in doing so, tend to neglect those things that also need to be done at some point!

At least, I know what we are called to, in big part, and I know what we are good at, what our spiritual giftings are. We are in some regard doing those things to some degree: being hospitable, being net-menders to the wider body, not just focused on one local church(!), building up the saints in love, etc., but I also know there are other areas where we lack. We lack consistent discipline for one! We’re not as productive as we should probably be. Hmmmm. It seems enough just to work full time, take kids to school and back, and all the things associated with schools, whilst still also homeschooling, and of course taking care of our own family’s immediate day-to-day physical and emotional needs! Dogs still need to be walked, laundry still must be done, meals need to be made, bills have to eventually get paid, paperwork has to be sorted, etc, etc! So, when exactly does one find time to figure out budgets, do house and garden projects, and so on, while also not neglecting the eternal goals every Christian is called to?

Although we might be living out some of what God has called us to (beyond being a spouse, father/mother) and blessed us in, nevertheless I can sometimes feel like a failure that these days I seem unable to set down goals and achieve them! (Actually, I rarely even have goals—I’m just not that kind of person; my mind doesn’t work that way. That whole process almost seems artificial to me, actually, yet I know it has its place too!)

Sometimes I do wish that I had some more practical gifts, like how to get our finances more in order, how to save and plan for the future, etc, but I am wary too of anything that resembles working for the almighty dollar and ‘financial security’ only. (It’s too easy to get in that accumulation-rutt mode.) Just this morning I read in the Word how it describes ‘all’ that is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal and that is our goal! It’s a thin line between doing the practical daily things that are, in large part temporal, whilst still really tending to the eternal. Part of me feels at the same time that if we love God, minister to and love His people, that God will take care of the rest–you know, “Seek Ye first the Kingdom of God and then all these [other] things will be added unto you!” We do indeed need to put God first, doing His will and seeking Him above all things, actually doing what really pleases Him, and that involves going beyond more than what even the world honours—i.e. taking care of one’s immediate family, one’s projects, career, etc, etc!

Let me conclude by also stating that none of this is to somehow earn brownie points in heaven. We are only saved by ‘His’ given righteousness poured over us, if we chose to accept it. However, the Word also clarifies that to love God is to obey His commands and that “My children Hear My voice.” If we are sealed with His Holy Spirit and living in communion with Him it will be natural to want to do those things that please Him, just as we want to please/serve our spouse, our parent or what have you. It is the result of a real love relationship, not mere mental ascent/belief. He is the very ‘lover’ of our souls, not just a close (or distant) acquaintance, or some person with whom we occasionally decide to commune. No, we can’t get more intimate than His wooing our inner being, changing and transforming us with his indwelt Spirit from carnality to spirituality, if we so allow Him.

I want to go deeper with Him, not so much by understanding Him but learning to trust Him regardless. That takes laying down things, like my intellect at times, my pride, my self-suffiency. I have really had to struggle through some things lately and even news stories like the tragic loss of those miners, even after many there and around the world prayed (and some, no doubt, with faith at least the size of a mustard seed), leaves me confused, doubt filled. Yet, over and over again, I have to come to terms with the fact that I am not God! I don’t know all His eternal ways but I can trust that He is good! I can trust in Jesus’ words to us, in Him and what He has done. So, yes, I will turn from my wrestles and rest in His Spirit. He will no doubt, as He has before, show me His gentle leading.

This journey we are on may be challenging, may even be lonely at times (no one person can fill all our emotional/spiritual needs nor is meant to!), but Christ promises to be with us always, and not only that, He has given us His body, His church from whom spiritual blessings flow...if we can only learn to humble ourselves, not considering ourselves too high or too busy with other so called important things to come to dwell with those he loves and calls His friends and His children.

So, my friends, where are you in this balance of things? Are you living for your own desires or laying them down in service to Him and His body? Are you perhaps overly committed and not tending to the other things God has also called you to? First comes Him, then our immediate family and His body and then others. Let us not forget that seeking Him first, the things of the Kingdom of God, cannot be achieved if we neglect the very body (of believers) He has given us to serve and love. I have my own struggles too, and no, I obviously don’t have all the answers on striking that right balance; but again, I go back to the fact that over and over again Jesus tells us to seek the Kingdom of God first, and [only] then will these [other] things be added unto you.

-“d”

2006-01-09T23:17:00.000-05:00

Blog Again. I'm back!

Well, my friends, why haven’t I been on here in so long and updated this blog? A number of reasons really, not the least of which being that we just recently got through the holidays with 19 straight days of seeing and hosting people—and that’s even with spending Christmas Day on our own (as has become tradition, partly because our parents live so far away). We enjoyed a lot of fellowship and prayer, and of course, we did our yearly Boxing Day festivities with friends coming over, eating left-overs, etc. (One night during this period we must have prayed on and off for about 3 hours with this one couple who popped by!) Great, but exhausting! We tend to dissipate ourselves all too often, all out of good intentions, but need to be careful not to spread ourselves too thin!

OK, now back to that list of why I haven’t blogged lately:

One big reason is connectivity issues. It’s difficult to get blogger to work since it doesn’t support the browser versions I use with my old mac OS. Sometimes, it is easier just to email my entries from Word to my yahoo account and then pick them up at an internet café and get on blogger there. Convenient, sort of, but I don’t always want to have to buy a latté just to post entries! LOL! Especially when trying to cut down on my ridiculous caffeine consumption! (More on this later in another entry.)

Other reasons for postponing blogging include: trying circumstances that can’t really be shared discreetly online, sharing the laptop with 3 others in my family who also want access, and then last, but not least, this blog has really changed direction from its initial intent which was as an avenue with Elwyn's family moving for us to continue the friendship and interaction whilst having others join in, hopefully, which indeed some of you have, and that's been great! Anyway, I think the convenience of simply calling gets in the way, and the trouble is, I don’t really like talking on the phone in the first place! I’m far better off in person or in writing.

Finally, as more people I know learn about this blog, the more hesitant and “censored” I can feel. Yet, I don’t want to just write ‘fluff’ entries. My favourite blogs I enjoy frequenting are mostly pretty personal where the blogger openly shares his/her trials, aspirations, prayers and praises. They are just more ‘real’.

I suppose that I would end by stating that just because I may not write such details here, it doesn’t mean I too don’t have difficult issues to deal with, as indeed we all do, including dishonest portrayals and judgments by some, financial troubles, etc. And, then, of course, there are my own issues of falling short of my own ideals. I can, though, usually be more open with that, as it, really, reflects more poorly on me than others, and others don't then need to be unnecessarily referenced here.

So, with this said, I wonder if I should even bother with this blog. Maybe, I will change it and do another one, I don’t know, or maybe change it's direction somewhat or maybe a lot? One thing I do know though, once I get into it, I enjoy the blogging process. It is a release of sorts, a way to organize things, and of course gives me that opportunity to ‘refine’ my horrendous typing skills! Ha-ha!

Well, that’s it for now. I’ve got some more blog entries to write so better sign off from this post. ‘Toodles’ for now....Oh, and Happy New Year and all that.

-"d"

P.S. Whoohoo. I've finally found a browser that is supported by my old system and will actually let me get onto Blogger to publish these posts! It's not great (tiny text in the edit window, for starters) but I think I can make it work. We (and you) shall see!

(Post originally written Jan 7, 2006.)

2005-12-14T23:50:00.000-05:00

Full

I'm feeling very thankful and full tonight, and no, I don't mean from all the Christmas snacks I've indulged in lately! No, I'm just sitting here thinking of the myriad of joys, the fullness of blessings I have this holiday season.

Although our financial situation is pretty dire actually, for some reason I am not stressing about it. Either I am in denial or just getting a better perspective on things, resting in His care! Knowing me, it's probably the former I'm afraid to say! Oh dear! Well, I'm enjoying the 'peace' nonetheless!

Where do I begin? OK, for one, I have great kids (yeah, I know, most parents say that, right?)! But they really are a joy. Seeing Christ in them humbles me. They are well behaved, sweet and considerate to one another and that's even with a young teen on board! (Have I mentioned that I love having a teen?! Yes, really!) Then there is my wife--what can I say? She's still the love of my life after all these years. I can still look at her and my heart skips a beat! I still long to spend time with her, just talking (more than she would care for really). Truely, that is probably one of my favourite things to do--just talking and learning and discovering with her. (Yes, I wear her out and thus I blog at times! Ha.) All this is not to say the road hasn't been bumpy at times along the way, but there remains a deep, abiding commitment to one another. In spite of what comes, we strive to serve each other out of reverence for Christ, above and beyond those natural feelings of love. When all else fails, sometimes it is mostly that commitment to honour Christ that keeps things moving forward I think. Being bathed in prayer has been a tremendous uplifter too. I am so thankful for a Christian marriage but that wouldn't be enough if it wasn't for the Lord Himself, changing our inner 'man', and, boy, have we changed since we first met--for the better, I might add!!

Only in Christ can our family have a bedrock on which to build. If we put our roots deep in Him, He can give us a love and forgiveness beyond our own human frailties and failings. It is easy in any relationship to allow bitterness and unforgiveness to turn things sour, to warp one's perspective and destroy that love, but when one's commitment is to love Christ then it compels us to go further, as we love out of reverence for Him.

Thank you God for that deposit of goodness, your Spirit in our midst!

-"d"

2005-11-27T14:48:00.000-05:00

In this World you will have difficulty...

Thanksgiving week had been very trying for us, full of lots of emotional situations others we know are going through. It has left us feeling drained. On top of this, my clueless suspicions about a friend I loved very much and whom I had invested more into than anyone else but my wife, have been found to be in fact true. The worst part is that I have no way to bring resolve to the matter, having no contact with this person, by their own choice. All I can do is pray. This, on top of the even worse news about something I/we learned many weeks back. When we see the pain and misery around us that some endure, I suppose this situation with an old friend pales in comparison. Nevertheless, let me tell you, it hurts deeply. I cried a fair bit.

I feel like I have been that ship in the ocean being tossed to and fro lately. I am emotionally drained and tired. (I also have a terrible cold that has lasted about 2 weeks now, keeping us up at night.) A lot of this may not make that much sense but I want to be careful to keep things confidential when writing to a wider audience as this blog allows. I would just ask for prayers and transparency..and real help with finances too!

One thing this has done is show me more clearly the need to have solid, healthy friends. I think it's hard when one is emotional and loves deeply to make connections with those who might tend to hold their emotions more in check. I tend to prefer others who are passionate for life, even if I may disagree with some things they do, which can, of course, cause issues down the road.

Well, on a blessed note, the elusive "Elwyn" and his dear wife have been here back in town/State, before heading back East again. A lot has been going on, but it is good to have a good friend around, even if for just a short time! (Maybe, he'll even check in here and leave a blog entry!) Once Elwyn leaves again, who will God next place in my life as a friend I see more regularly? It is good to have brothers with whom to be frank and honest and with whom to pray. I think we men all could benefit from that.

An upsetting trend my wife has noticed (and commented on the other day), is that I am getting more negative (again). Regardless of how 'correct' or even 'noble' I may wish to be about some things, it doesn't really bare fruit if it only embitters me--that leads to defeat. Why do I let things get to me so much? The state of the overall church is so upsetting to me--it is so worldly...and in some certain circles, heresy runs amok. If I was God I would be done with it all by now, but thankfully He is far more long-suffering and gracious than I!!

Yes, I am thankful for many things (at least intellectually) during this holiday season but I need to internalise things more so I can dwell in real joy--"The Joy of the Lord is My strength". I can not honestly say that right now. Probably, it would help if I learned just to compartmentalize things more!

-"d"

2005-11-16T21:05:00.000-05:00

The One Thing

The other day I heard Jars of Clay's Liquid. This song moves me profoundly and often casts my mind back to when I first met my one-day-to-be wife and how we would argue religion and the meaning of things! (That was pretty much standard faire and really didn't change until she had a radical, totally unexpected, Damascus-like experience that forever wholly changed her into a completely different person; one whom is now a strongly committed disciple, knowing Jesus as not only real but her saviour.) Anyway, back then she was anything but a Christian when we first met! She would persistently try to convince me everything was relative; there are no absolutes; black is white/white is black; good is evil/evil is good and so forth. It was fairly typical, what would be considered now, new age centred belief. Sometimes she would delve into impassioned, detailed and long arguments for reincarnation, aliens, or what have you. It would always totally frustrate her that I could go with her so far, even delving into some of these things myself, but in spite of not having a deep lived out faith back then, I nevertheless knew that evil and good are not the same thing! Infuriatingly for her, it always boiled down to my concluding everything with "Well, whatever, I know that Jesus died on the cross for my sins!"

I was in the process of learning and exploring different thigns to some degree, but I could never discount this "one thing that I know". It is the same today. It's the bedrock of my life -- this assurance of Christ's redemptive work on the cross and His resurrection. I know it like I know where I live. Nothing could (and can) convince me otherwise. It never ceases to amaze me -- this marvellous gift of faith. Sometimes I may doubt some things, even get tossed to and fro a bit, but this is the one thing on which I firmly anchor everything. It helped me never fully embrace reincarnation even when I might have been tempted to belive it (or at least wanted to be), as I just knew that if all people eventually reached Nirvana, or became one with God, or went to Heaven, then there was absolutely no point for the cross. There would have therefore been nothing from which Jesus needed to save us, if we were all going to get there eventually anyway!

This bedrock faith is also the foundation for measuring value in other things. Everything else simply fades in comparison. Nothing matters as much as this profound truth of Christ's death for me. He is forever present in my mind. All I have to do is think of what He did for me and I can break down. I am humbled by the things I allow to so easily distract me or the foolish suppositions I may chose to exalt in my heart, only to have them come crashing down again when I face Him.

Liquid

Arms nailed down,
are you telling me something?
Eyes turned out,
are you looking for someone?

This is the one thing,
The one thing that I know.

Blood-stained brow,
are you dying for nothing?
Flesh and blood,
is it so elemental?

This is the one thing,
The one thing that I know.

Blood-stained brow,
He wasn't broken for nothing.
Arms nailed down,
He didn't die for nothing.

This is the one thing,
The one thing that I know.

-"d".

2005-11-12T23:23:00.000-05:00

Rising from the African Plain

Today I just needed to get away and renew my spirit. Sitting in the car for a good half hour listening to music on Christian radio really helped slowly wash away everything passing that I was focusing on, and instead refocus on that which is noteworthy, eternal, and full of praise. Some of the songs were raw and passionate, dealing honestly with pain, anger, hurts, but always looking to God for healing as He is the only one who can truly heal our souls.

After going through a range of sorrow for some of the deep, tragic hurts of this world, the evil of some wicked to the innocent, I was able to eventually give it up and rest in the faith of God's goodness, even when I fail to understand how such horrors can persist. The worst thing I can do is, in turn, act in bitterness and resentment because of my own limited mortal understanding and frustrations. Anger and hurt accomplish nothing. Only a heart fully surrendered to God can be used as a true font of His blessing. As strange as it is, it so true that we can only do more if we are less and He is more. Our agendas must be laid aside as we take up His example of sacrifice and Holiness. The more we allow ourselves to be open to His filling, the more He will faithfully fill us, but, we must first surrender!

Our greatest comfort and joy is in knowing that one day the secret and flaunted wickedness done in this world will cease, and we will be in the presence of the mighty King, the lover of our souls, in the fellowship of the saints, all those who surrendered their will to His, those who gave their all and lost everything for Him, those who, like Christ, suffered at the hands of evil men. One day everything will be made right. I know too that if it wasn't for the prayers of the saints, the love of God and His grace, this world would be completely immersed in darkness. All good things come from the creator, whether we recognize it or not, yes, and especially love, as God is Love.

I have been thinking how often I've read of those in the worst dire situations being the ones most profoundly born again, and/or finding rest in their persecuted faithfulness. Jesus said we must lose our lives to find it in Him. I think of all the African brothers and sisters we've known over the years and in spite of their poverty and hardships, they often know a joy we seldom live in as we never press in and hunger for Him in quite the same way; instead too often settling for the distractions of busyness and illusionary modern 'comforts'.

There have been moments we've experienced of profound fellowship and true worship where a magnitude of people, different ages, different races and nationalities have all been one in worshipping Him. I love the joyful African praise in particular and my wife really wishes all churches were filled with belt-it-out black gospel! Yeah! Sing it brother! :) Well, either way, it is all just a small hint of what is to come. One day we will all worship Him in truth and in one accord, regardless of our ecclesiastical heritage. We will be one as He is one.

Mindful of this, I love the end of this video by this Australian Band. The myriad of glad worshippers praising His name in one voice is a small hint to me of what heaven will be like:

"He Reigns" - Newsboys

Included, are the words below, should you have not heard this song before, and/or not be able to pick it up on your modem:

He Reigns

It's the song of the redeemed
Rising from the African plain
It's the song of the forgiven
Drowning out the Amazon rain
The song of Asian believers
Filled with God's holy fire
It's every tribe, every tongue, every nation
A love song born of a grateful choir

(chorus)
It's all God's children singin'
Glory, glory, hallelujah
He reigns, He reigns

Let it rise above the four winds
Caught up in the heavenly sound
Let praises echo from the towers of cathedrals
To the faithful gathered underground
Of all the songs sung from the dawn of creation
Some were meant to persist
Of all the bells rung from a thousand steeples
None rings truer than this

(chorus)

And all the powers of darkness
Tremble at what they've just heard
'Cause all the powers of darkness
Can't drown out a single word

(chorus)
When all God's children sing out
Glory Glory Hallelujah
He reigns, He reigns

That's all for tonight dear ones. The Lord says, "I invite all you who are weary and heavy burdened to come rest in Me."

-"d".

2005-11-11T23:02:00.000-05:00

Armistice Day. In Remembrance.

This morning we awoke to the hautingly beautiful sounds of a simple, whistful tune. My son was playing around on the keyboard my neice had set up. Little did he know how much he was blessing us, welcoming in the morning light in such a gentle, sweet way.

When I first awoke I felt like I had slipped into heaven. (Odd really, as normally I would consider organ and accordian music as some of the worst sound ever invented!) Anyway, this morning was different. It reminded both my wife and I of our years as children in higher churches (Catholic for her, Anglican for me) where we would stumble in on an organist playing in the empty beautiful church. It was an arresting moment to be in that stillness, beside majestic stained glass window(s) and hearing the hollow footsteps of the occasional person coming in to pray in the pews. For me, in these precious moments the organ would transform itself from it's usual negative association. I loved those times. Sometimes there would be someone lighting candles, adding to the apparent reverence. There seemed such a feeling of holiness in these 'sacred' stolen moments. (Another odd thing to say, considering we never actaully really learned anything about being Holy as God calls all the faithful, as the Bible wasn't that central whilst growing up in these instead ritualistically centred churches. Still, I do miss that there seemed more import placed on such dates than in our modern churches where we often can come across as almost 'flippant', with everything needing to usually be deliberately 'joyful' and upbeat, being rather entertainment oriented. Don't get me wrong, celebrating Jesus should be joyful! If the Church isn't joyful in all we have than who really can be?! But, you know what I mean, I hope.)

Anyway... this morning's music was such a touching way to begin this eventful day. Stateside, it is Veteran's Day, and in Britain and the Commonwealth we remember it as Armistice Day, and then Sunday, Rembrance Day. On 11/11 at 11:00 am we stop what we are doing and hold two minutes of silence in memory of the war dead for giving their all in defending our freedom. It seems so much more at the forefront of the society's conscience in Britain than here, probably because in Britain we suffered so much more, lost so many more lives, and fought for longer in the World Wars, plus, of course there was all the bombing and decade of rationing afterwards. London's "Daily Telgraph" described these two minutes as the only time when the entire country (UK) is most unified in the largest, most singulalrly expressed event of the entire year!

During this season it is common to see Brits wear the poppy as a visual reminder. I often stop for a moment of reflection and bitter pride whenever I've seen simple stone memorials scattered thoughout the quiet beauty of English countryside, listing their war dead and decorated with wreaths of poppies. The cost to the community, even to this day, is evidenced in how these same village memorials are continuosly decorated with fresh wreaths, even in the middle of the year. One can never get too far from the Country's collective mindset of remembering the Wars and their heavy toll. Matter of a fact, in my office I keep a picture of such a memorial I snapped one Spring whilst visiting my mother and family years ago.

The pitiful thing though, is that, here, I am almost forgetful of remembering the war dead when this day comes! I wish we did poppies here too -- at least it would be a simple common thing we can all do together, regardless of where we may be at that hour. And so, it was surprising when I read that actaully the idea of wearing the poppy came from an American woman in Georgia, of all places! I wonder how it took off throughout the Commonwealth but never really made it here?

Below are some "Daily Telegraph" links and touching photos of the remembrance in Britain today:

Britain falls silent to mark Armistice Day

Son follows in father's Flanders Fields Great War footsteps

Even though I wouldn't, of course, uphold Roger Waters' material as content with which to feed one's soul(!), I will say that "The Wall" and "The Final Cut" very much show that strong emotional connection to the War for a relatively modern Brit, even one whom is a rock star. I think it takes being British, or growing up there, to really fully grasp the War's magnitude in such a heart-connection way. Every time I see a Spitfire, hear "Land of Hope and Glory" or "Jerusalem", or see that bright poppie worn on black coats, my heart is heavy; I could cry if I allowed myself to think about it. In particular, forever I think I will always have a part of the 1940's engrained in my heart. In many ways I feel more connected to people of that great generation than I do to mine. (I have to admit too that it does bother me a bit when I see, not that many decades later, how little today's Germany and Japan reap from the seeds of their terror, particularly the demonic anti-semitism of Nazism and the shamefulness of Japan's War amnesia.)

"Thank you" just doesn't seem enough to express to the veterans of today and all those who waited (and wait) in fear at home, wondering if their loved ones would/will come back alive or not. And so, instead, in rembrance, here is the beautiful "Flanders Fields", by John McCrae, a Canadian:

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

As Eccelsiastes says, there is a time to mourn--this is such a time. In the remembrance, may we also never forget the greatest blood loss, the sacrifice of an innocent lamb for our fallenness: Christ our Lord.

-"d".

2005-11-10T01:36:00.000-05:00

What's your theology?

I took this fairly well posted test tonight that I have been meaning to look at to see just how accurate it really is. The results (below) seem pretty close for me actually, except that really, I have no idea what being 'Wesleyan' entails! :) I mean, I probably agree that like most movements, it was birthed with the Holy Spirit but got corrupted as men within it drifted from the truth of the gospel, slowly replacing it with more of a 'social gospel'. To clarify: I have to say, as a whole, I don't have that much admiration for the 'modern' Methodist church, seeming to me more like an anything-goes Sunday gathering than anything else, but it looks like, from this test result at least, that maybe I would agree more so with Wesley's theological roots? Yes, possibly...hmm. Well, I certainly enjoy the 'Evangelical Holiness' label--cool porridge, even if not quite sure what that means either! Ok, I quickly did a search on this and it seems that it might be tied to Anglicanism in some way and living a Holy life. --So, OK, centre it on the Bible, not leaving out the charismatic and include the emergent/postmodern and you've got a great church, right?! Ha!

If you haven't taken the test, go ahead. The questions are good, many being central to determining just how Biblical your worldview is or isn't, and aside from anything else, they're fun to answer. O.K., some of the questions are a little open to interpretation in what they really are asking, or even a little bias perhaps, but if nothing else, they remain pointed. Elwyn, how would/do you score? That would be very interesting to see, no doubt! (Too bad it doesn't have more 'Jewish Messianic' type questions!)

Well, it's getting super late, so here it goes:

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavily by John Wesley and the Methodists.

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

93%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

75%

Fundamentalist

75%

Emergent/Postmodern

64%

Reformed Evangelical

57%

Neo orthodox

46%

Classical Liberal

29%

Roman Catholic

18%

Modern Liberal

What's your theological worldview?

Good night/morning, all!

-"d."

2005-11-08T23:47:00.000-05:00

Cedar Chest

Elwyn (and whomever checks out this blog), yesterday I jotted down a quick list of topics to blog about but wouldn't you know it, seemed to have lost it! So, instead I browsed some blogs I like to sometimes visit. It's funny how blog- (and web-) surfing works, but I find it's usually best to check out others recommended by those sites one frequents most, rather than do a keyword search on "Christian" or what have you, in the thin hope of finding something noteworthy. Anyway, through one of those such sites, fierycanadian.blogspot.com (an often challenging witness), I came across a very well written Christian blog, from yet another Canadian I think!

This blogger is obviously devoted. You know, I've noticed that I do seem to gravitate towards blogs written by those who are on-fire, whom have that sole vision for serving God, whether younger or older is secondary. I like too though that she's been a parent and long time spouse, while remaining faithful through the trials of life apparently. Here, you will find plenty to contemplate over, or, as she puts it, "shar[ing] her treasure box of memories, God's blessings, and lesson's learned along life's path." This blog is like sipping a good strong cuppa'...or should I say opening a cozy 'treasured cedar chest'?! And, like most blogs I prefer, it's written in a warm, personal style... kind of like this one, right? :)

-"d."

2005-11-07T21:25:00.000-05:00

Christ before me

(I had left out a line in my poem below when I typed and published it, so have added it here now, later.)

This morning it felt like the joy and peace I had enjoyed the day before was being stolen. I allowed my morning's desire to work as for Him to be robbed by reflecting on how this one sweet girl who suffers from a physical condition is teased by some other kids who should really know and 'feel' better. My heart was heavy for the girl and her sweet family, and for some other kids I know, but it's never a good thing to dwell on the folly of man!.

As I was dwelling in my anxiety, trying to lift it to Him, I then got stuck behind a huge flat bed truck. I'm not sure it was the truck or something else, but it started to smell really, really bad. (I actually tried checking the bottoms of my shoes to make sure I hadn't stepped in anything gross!) Just then the truck in front of me suddenly swerved to the right to avoid a massive plastic green trash bin lying diagonally on the highway. I quickly swerved to the left, tires screeching, and pulled hard back to the right to get back in my lane. By this time my anxiousness was super elevated. My heart was beating a little quicker and all along I felt like I was breathing too fast.

By the time I got to my destination I was very edgy and upset that a promising start to the week seemed pretty much ruined. When I got inside I knew I had to lift up my day, and praying, opened up my simple ragged old 'Good News' Bible, which fell open to one of the gospels. At first I didn't want to read whatever might be there as I knew pretty much what it was going to say and figured I would just skip to something else, but 'no' I thought, maybe there was something there. My eyes fell on Jesus' words about Him doing whatever we ask for in His name. It was just what I needed as I wasn't sure what I was praying for was right or not, and so lifted everything up in His name, according to His perfect plan.

About half an hour later as I was working, a poem came into my mind and I felt the urge to quickly jot it down and work out any modification later. After writing this down another came and then another, and actually, a fourth one started but sort of trailed off as I needed to get back to my work. I love it when things like that happen -- when something entirely unexpected happens after something else also unexpected! Very infrequently do I ever get poems of any sort pop into my head! I don't generally write poetry but as it is I thought I would share that first one here:

Christ before me
on the narrow twisted road
I follow in His blood
Falling down, He pulls himself up
again
The heavy, splintered cross
Jagged stones in the dirt pierce
His tortured, bleeding feet
There is no comfort

Pain and mockery, His lot
Christ is alone
No one can take His exalted place
A cruel sentence, His embrace
Standing in His shadow
ashamed of my sin
I know I am
nothing without Him.

--"duncan", (c) 2005. All rights reserved.

2005-11-04T22:51:00.000-05:00

Tongues, and all that!

Although I pretty much understand the justifications for praying out tongues loudly when interceding and praying through powerful things, I do still rather find it off-putting, well, at least if I’m not part of it, even while yet knowing it isn’t exactly the kind of situation warned about in the Bible where an individual might start ‘speaking’ tongues out loud where only their tongue is heard with non-believers present, thus demanding an interpretation as scripture clearly outlines.

There is a difference in delivery between ‘praying’ intongues and ‘speaking’ out tongues. When it is in prayer there are a lot of believers doing it at once, not just that one tongue being delivered like some announcement. When prayed aloud in a group it is also in a believers-only setting where there is then not that non-Christian skeptic who needs that specific sign of interpretation as a testament to them. I know too that the Bible says to pray not just with the 'mind' (as good as that is), but with the 'Spirit' also! When praying in tongues we can know that it is our Spirit within us praying back to God, often giving words to things too deep for us to form in our limited thinking, and often with the tongues of angels! It can and should be a powerful thing; and, as the Word says, is truly primarily a gift for the believer in building up their own selves — in prayer!

St. Paul clarified that he wished all believers would speak in tongues, but more so that we 'prophecy', and actually even commanded us to earnestly desire the higher gifts, something easily relegated to the sidelines in most churches, contrary the Word! Notice too, he doesn’t give any other options for not using them and/or seeking them! In fact, it was to be considered so central that it was important enough for the Word to give detailed, careful explanation for the orderly and proper adminstration of the gifts of the Spirit in church, as opposed to so many other regular church service type things left out for our own interpretation and free will! Spiritual gifts were expected to be used during worship and encouraged, as fitting a truly spiritual church, and so to be rightly administered! Therefore, we musn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater simply because one might have learned some bad examples of it’s use, just as, say, a skeptic can’t honestly naively discredit Christianity purely on the basis of the Inquisitions — of course not! That misses the point entirely. No, rather, God expressly made sure the Bible included the use of gifts for the future church and actually went so far as to warn believers not to quench the Holy Spirit, even adding “Do not forbid the speaking in tongues!”

Anyway, just as powerful, well more so for advancing the gospel, is, of course, when tongues is interpreted/validated by non-believers, as when often spoken in a foreign language unknown to the speaker, and then not only accurately interpreted by another also unfamiliar with the tongue, but the message given is incredibly specific for the individual(s) to whom it was given. Boy, I could tell you some incredible related testimonies...

A Brief Study on Have the Charismatic Gifts Ceased?

1 Corinthians 14 says:
"Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy"

I have been praying about and for this lately yet all things in God's timing. Nevertheless, elemental to all, is that we are to be anchored in love. I have so much more to learn. Lately I feel that my fellowship with Him is growing. My desire to spend time in His presence grows but I stumble along the way, but at the same time Jesus said His burden is easy and His yoke is light. I liken this to how though we travel the narrow path, the road is filled with rocks and things that can make us stumble, yet the road is also soft from incredibly silky sand. It soothes and comforts us along the way.

"Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil for Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me."

-"d".

2005-10-29T15:59:00.000-04:00

My Time of Year

I love this season: the smell of rain, the smell of wet pavements, taking walks through crunchy, golden leaves under heavy cloudy grey skies, the remaining Autumn colour barely holding on; warm drinks, coffee shops and bookstores, darker mornings and nights, flannel pajamas and hot water bottles in cozy beds. All this, with the promise of Thanksgiving around the corner followed by Christmastide, ending with a quiet time to reflect on the year since past.

The worst of the weather is thankfully over. No more days of sizzling upper 90’s, sticky, unbearably hot cars, mosquito bites and repellant, loud music blared out of open windows from houses and hot rods. The days of being forced to wear T-shirts and shorts, desperately trying to stay cool, and loosing one’s cool, are thankfully over! Summer clothing leaves me feeling slobbish, uncomfortable and far too casual. What can I say? I actually like wearing layers, lumberjack shirts, sweaters, shoes and socks! Wrapping a warm scarf around my face only makes me feel safe, warm and secure when venturing out into unpredictable, changing weather. : )

Autumn is fully upon us. It’s almost winter without being too cold yet. We can actually still have a lot of almost too warm days even in the winter months, yet don’t have to suffer through ice storms and the incessant bone-marrow cold of other wetter regions. Yes, I would like more snow though and less sunshine—never had enough of that in the places I’ve lived. Still, when it comes, snow stays only long enough to beautify and still the surroundings before quickly melting away, leaving no mucky slush and ice hanging around until Spring.

This definitely is a good time of year. My time of year.

-"d"

2005-10-27T22:52:00.000-04:00

A foreigner of sorts

Having now spent practically all but a little over one year of my 'adult' life in the U.S., it nevertheless astounds me just how much my formulative growing-up years still affect me! To a large extent I fit in far better here than I ever really did in certain circles in London. I am far more relaxed, Californian-like in nature, in how I relate to people and generally warm, hugging, and outgoing—as are most Americans.

I am fairly laid back. Yet, I also have these English “standards” (a hot button word here) that feel so out of place here, at least in the Western United States! I am truly half-English and half-American! I don’t feel either that I am wholly one or the other but in either case, whichever of these countries I am not in/visiting, is the one with which I feel the most heart kinship with most often! So, when visiting the U.K., I often feel so American and defend America strongly against supposed British superiority or snobbery, but here I feel so English with some dislike for so many just readily-accepted cultural things. Although I appreciate that, here, regardless of one’s heritage usually not playing that much of a role in how people regard one, I nevertheless don’t like that people are almost too common! Practically everyone I associate with talks with their mouths full (really loathe this one!), chews gum regularly (oftentimes with their mouths open, giving me a picture of cows chewing their cud), wave their utensils around, say they want to get together but don't often actually intend to follow it up, or commit to something but seem to have no problem breaking it if something more fun or convenient comes up later, never considering how rude that is, and the list goes on!

Other things a visitor will particularly notice here in America (although it can be done anywhere) include: older people feeling they need to show they are still young and hip/cool, the way people wear sweat-pants to almost any event, gym shoes with jeans, drinking soda for breakfast, the dumbing down of the culture, and the insane number of hours the average American works yet not thinking it is excessive, with not only longer work days, but less personal vacation time (a lot less, like 3 weeks minimum), far fewer national holidays, and not even guaranteed health coverage! (Yet, of course, all this industriousness is why America, rightfully, is the richest , most industrious, and perhaps, ingenious nation in the world!)

Of course, some of the grievances listed above are done to some extent in England too, some places more so than others, but it doesn’t seem nearly as frequent (except for the table manners), well not among certain classes at least! I don't like to use that word, “class”— it has such terrible connotations, as if one is somehow superior, when of course, that isn’t the case at all! Here in the States, people just don’t get the concept of ‘class’ or a ‘class’ system. (That's in the end, probably a good thing overall, but they misunderstand a lot of the class references to modern-day Britain too.) It always comes across as an antiquated, unjust way to judge others (and sometimes that does unfortunately happen). Particularly, most Americans usually assume one’s class is automatically distinguished by just how much money one has, when in actuality someone can be a millionaire and yet remain distinctly “low” class in England! Conversely, one can be poor, living in a studio apartment, as we knew of one elderly gent in London, and yet be very upper class, simply because of one’s upbringing, one’s family heritage, etc. It has far more to do with ‘tastes/preferences’ than anything else, and of course, education makes an impact too.

Yes, initially class was based off of just how rich and powerful one was, but over time a certain outlook and mannerism was established that has survived through the upheaval of society with the World Wars and the Depression, etc, where fortunes were won and lost in all classes. And so if one is upper class in England invariably one’s family, somewhere along the line, is from a wealthy, ‘distinguished’ background. In our private school many of the kids had very much working class backgrounds, children of shopkeepers, etc, and yet they had plenty more money than my family living on a single family income and in the heart of the city but still valuing education over other regular expenses some would have considered essential!

Yet at the same time, I am so Americanized that generally I think people treat me like I was born and raised here, yet so much of my upbringing is so completely different to the average American’s. For example, I didn’t even have any pressure to have to be “cool” —it simply wasn’t even part of our schoolboy vocabulary (although I suspect it is now for most kids there, with the world continuing to shrink via the media, for better or for worse)! Half the things that are considered “cool” here for the average teen/college experience were considered pretty dumb back then there. It was foolish in my school to do drugs or even smoke! (There were only two blokes we knew who did that sort of thing and both were considered very odd and pretty much ‘losers’!) Of course, a lot of one's experience is different to other kids, depending where one lives/lived and went to school. For example, I note that rural kids today in Britain often seem fair more innocent than city kids, makes sense, but also than their counterparts here Stateside.

Anyway, now I have one of my family members here, a young adult, visiting from England, and I hate to admit, it bothers me a bit when she lumps me in with the rest of my American family and others, saying "You", referring to Americans, and "We", referring to English. What is ironic is she is actually half-and-half too, and younger than I was when I moved here for good! Well, I suppose it just goes to show that when in Rome one isn't only to act as the Romans do, but one can be considered Roman too!

Even so, funnily, I know this one 'lady' who moved here when she was 15 from London and is now in her late 60's or early 70's and yet her accent is impeccable, like she literally just stepped off the boat. And so in turn, people treat her like she is thoroughly English even though she's spent over half a century here! Actually, funny thing is, she even strikes me as pretty English too—her mannerisms and body language even seem from an older British generation. (Odd too considering she didn't travel back 'home' very often back then, in the 50's, 60's, and 70's, etc, as it was simply too expensive and her life as a single mother of 4 made it that much harder.)

Another odd thing I've noticed is that the 4 English people I know (loosely) who live here, all go back to England at least once a year, with some going back every 2-4 months and some even seem to get it partly or completely paid for by their work if they are going to the UK for business, or passing through! Now, if only I could figure out how to do that! I need my London fix! And even that is difficult now that all my family has pretty much moved away into the countryside and London is sooo expensive! I love the country, adore it and the innate rural English way of life with some of the things, but it's still not London! One thing that would help would be if my mother could travel/fly out here but she can't (doctor's orders) and it's simply too expensive to just hop over there that often, let alone with the whole family!

And so I feel cut-off from part of my core, and yet I should state I do appreciate all the obvious blessings I've had by being here, not the least of which being my wife, kids, and the opportunities for Christian fellowship, particularly so prevalent in this region. It sometimes amazes me, how on Earth I ended up here! Now that I am pretty much a semi-native and generally more American than English really, I honestly feel like this sort of 'hidden' person, almost like a cultural spy of sorts, at times. It's weird to feel that disconnect, much like I suppose missionaries' "third-culture" children feel when they return to their original Country after having been overseas for so long. They mentally know they can call it home but their formulative years overseas have had a deep, lasting impact on their identity. Mix in blood family and such and the feeling is even more weird!

I Love America, I Love England! Whenever I hear one person putting down one of the Countries, paticularly when it's my own family, I feel this automatic need/desire to defend the other 'unrepresented' Country from so many times just foolish assumptions, and yet at the same time I can remotely detach myself from the present Country and see it in perhaps a too critical manner as I am sometimes unfairly comparing the two cultures when they can't really be compared.

So, really, the best thing to do, is to just be Roman!...and remember that ultimately my citizenship lies in Heaven! Thank God! : ) I love the Church, I love the Saints. Being with God's people in real and joyous deep fellowship is now when I feel most alive and most connected in my inner self, and, of course, experiencing the joys of just being a sweet family. Truly, what God gives is amazing and so much more profound and lasting than the, in comparison, almost artificial or shallow things of culture!

--duncan claudius!

2005-10-26T21:51:00.000-04:00

Stuck in what?

It won’t leave your mind. As much as you try to think otherwise, you keep coming back to the same thinking and feelings over and over again. It might trigger some associated behavior, a resulting addiction. What is it? Quite simply, it is a stronghold: a repeated way of thinking that dominates your mind, keeping you in bondage to the known, whether it is healthy or destructive.

A couple of weeks ago we explored the battle for the mind, and the strongholds we face. The speaker, whom doesn’t normally preach at our church, did a good job laying out just what are strongholds and how to deal with them. He explained something my wife and I have discussed a fair bit in the part: just how the brain works; something that my father-in-law explained a long time earlier, and something that continues to fascinate me.

Basically, in non-scientific terms, the mind sends electrical impulses/thoughts down various grooves in our brain. Literal thought patterns are established as any particular thought is repeated. The more times we think a certain way the deeper the particular grooves get—rather like a river bed is eroded down by the continual rush of water. Eventually we literally find ourselves in a rut—a certain way of thinking that is hard to get out of. The brain synapsis will fire down these already established routes as they are the ones of least resistance and already firmly entrenched. These trenches become the quickest, easiest way to send information across the brain.

Over time, these ruts as they get deeper, direct us towards some ways of thinking that we would ideally like to break out of but which we find increasingly more difficult to sever. We get used to our ruts! It is easier for the mind, and, in turn, is outwardly expressed in our behavior. For example, not to minimize abuse, but why do individuals stay in abusive relationships? Because so often it is easier to stay in what is known, as unhealthy or destructive as it is, than to make that jump into something unknown—that can be very scary. We may try to venture out and think a new paradigm, do or feel things in a new way, but after we venture out a certain distance and look ahead to where we want to go, we can feel isolated and so challenged that it is easier just to return to what we had already determined to leave! We are literally ‘bound’ to the familiar, whether we want it or not, often resulting in a fair measure of self-hatred or criticism. That, my friends, is a stronghold and something that needs to be broken and replaced with what is healthy!

Interestingly enough, an experiment was done with rats where the scientists could get a rat addicted to nicotine (somehow). They learnt that if they literally severed that particular thought pattern in the brain, the brain waves could then no longer travel down the same route; the rat’s obsessive desire for nicotine was instantly broken!

Of course, there is far more than just the mind at work in such matters for humans, there is the spiritual dimension as well as outside influences. Oftentimes, a certain memory and resulting thought pattern is associated with an emotional or even traumatic experience. Something that might have happened a long time ago in our past can continue to hold us in bondage in the present if we don’t learn to break out of the familiar and into new ground.

Essentially, there are 4 areas in particular where we often have strongholds: addiction, lust, comfort, or God! Why do we, say, find it so easy to just settle for comfort—the big LazyBoy chair and large screen TV? For one: naturally, as babies we craved, needed comfort. We needed our needs met: to feel loved, be fed, nurtured and comforted when in duress. These natural in-built desires remain with us to adulthood. In the back of our minds/our psyche, we may well feel danger if we aren’t remaining in comfort! That comfort and ease is unfortunately transferred to all areas of our lives. It is easier to not change than to change, easier to remain in the familiar than venture out into the unfamiliar, even when we know God is calling us to it, especially as we then have to contend with all the hardships that will surely come.

An example the speaker I liked, is that although the Iraelites were miraculously led out of captivity they so quickly complained and wanted to go back to being slaves in Egypt ‘where at least they were fed’!

Unfortunately I've forgotten the specifics for one of the examples he gave about David renaming a city to the 'City of David', and refusing to consider it anything but God's, not looking at the circumstance 'naturally'. Rather, he spoke into the situation with faith. (Note to self: ask the guy what the city was and for more details!)

Well, anyway, what stronghold do you need to rename, reclaim for God? (I'm sure all of us can think of some examples.)

If we struggle with lust, study purity. If we struggle in fear, study God’s assurances and peace. Replace your thinking. It is beneficial to get a Christian brother or sister to come alongside, pick you up, and encourage you in the journey when you fall. If you don’t have such a confidante, someone whom you can trust, then pray for one! God will surely give you the desires of your heart—a heart that wants to be right with God.

Another example given was how often the best way to think new ways is to do something unexpected, something itself new. Each morning Einstein would go and get a flower and then walk along and give it to someone he would walk by. He felt this ‘random’ act of kindness, wholly unexpected for the recipient, would somehow release his mind to think creatively, to think in new ways. One way is to go through the drive-though and pay for the person’s tab behind you. As you drive off you will feel such a thrill, doing something you know would be so completely unexpected and delightful for someone who will never know who you are and will never be able to pay you back! Unwarranted goodness and grace sets a precedent, helping us to not only experience new thoughts, a new sensation, but helping to break down our modus operandi.

I know there was alot more but I forget it now! Ugh. Well, I've got the sermon on CD and will just have to re-listen to that part. My auditory memory is not as good as it used to be...especially when some weeks have since passed!

One thing I am doing that I know the Word says is to renew your mind with reading scripture. If we truly believe that all scripture is God breathed, Spirit inspired, then when we read it we are actually partaking of His Spirit, this same inspiration, I suppose. And so, I have been trying to read more of the Word. I usually read at least a bit every day, sometimes a few chapters, depending. Reading the Word is so much harder for me than praying, but my wife is just the opposite (although I'd say she prays well but she just wants it to be more)! So, on the bright side, we definitely balance eachother out here, as with many areas, really!

That's it for now folks...press ahead—"Onwards and upwards!"

-"d"

2005-10-21T22:00:00.000-04:00

Only the Earth?

...and more on the eternal God.

A couple of days ago we had a Jehova’s Witness with a young child in tow, come to our door. I stood outside and talked with him for a good half hour. He shared all these promises from the Bible about a wonderful Kingdom on a new Earth, etc., and how wouldn’t I want to be there too where there will be no pain or suffering? Quickly, I told him I knew he was a Jehova’s Witness (‘JW’) and that they denied the deity of Christ, as does Mormonism and other false religions that present themselves as “Christian”! I pretty much bluntly stated how convenient it was that their Bible translation added to the scripture:“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was “a” God”, instead of “and the Word was God”, referring to Jesus Christ. He tried to tell me how many Bible scholars agree that their (basically Russel’s) interpretation is more accurate, but I countered it as quite to the contrary, and thus every other respected translation has it the same correct way (the Word ‘was’ God). (Of course they had to change it to support their false claims for denying the deity of Christ as this scripture clearly identifies this ‘Word’ as Christ Himself, with the rest of it saying that the “Word became flesh and dwelt among us, …and we (the disciples) beheld His glory.”)

Louie, as a Jehova’s Witness, was, I’m quite sure, well trained for any response I could have given him. Yet, even so, I shared scripture, as I know that the Word doesn’t return void and continued to pray for him in the Spirit the whole time whilst talking with him. I shared how the Bible also says of Christ that ‘By Him, and through Him and for Him all things were created’. Only God can create Life and clearly it says it was by Him, Jesus. Louie tried to counter something about ‘by’ not necessarily meaning ‘by’ as we understand it, and the same with “through”. I didn’t get how he could make such linguistic gymnastics to fit his theology but let him share their (JW’s) favourite verse where the Word says that Jesus “is the first born of all creation” and therefore He is part of creation and not the creator. Of course, Jesus is “begotten” so that didn’t really bother me at all. I asked him how, if Christ is not God, could He have claimed to have had the authority to forgive man of their sins before God, when only God can do that? Louie answered that that was because ‘all authority’ was given to Jesus as the Word also says. Well, at least we agreed on that! So, I suggested that therefore He must be God if he can do everything an infinite, completely Holy God can do and has authority to do! I asked him why would Jesus say He and the Father “are one” and the Bible state that “in Him (Jesus) all (or, the ‘fullness’) of God dwells”? Then, of course, there is the part where Jesus enraged the Pharisees when he emphatically declareded “before Abraham was, I AM!”, proclaiming Himself as the ‘I AM’, the everlasting Father “Jehova’ God—the very words that only God calls himself, and as He is often referred to throughout the Old Testament. (As we know, it was considered such blasphemy by the hard hearted, religious elite Pharisees, that they attempted to stone him right then in their utter rage and even tore their clothes in disgust!) Later, of course, Jesus also told the disciples when going to get a colt to tell the owner that “I AM” sent you.

In spite of our obvious differences, the conversation went fairly well and was quite friendly. We both remained polite and respectful as much as possible given the seriousness of the subject. Actually, it really helps when they come to you first—the door is literally wide open for you to then share in turn.

Louie called to mind other things that I had forgotten about JW’s; like the fact they don’t believe in a Hell or even in going to Heaven. Louie actually emphatically said “I don’t want to go to heaven! No way!—I’m inheriting the Earth!” (That just seemed so odd to me that he would believe his false church teaching at the expense of all the other scriptures referring to Heaven for the reader, and so settle for something less. The very Bible he claims to believe in is full of heavenly promises for the reader/disciple, like storing up your treasures in heaven, etc, etc. Just this morning I read all the NT scriptures on Heaven and how clearly it is talking about that being our ultimate home/goal/destiny/citizenship for the faithful reader! Jesus alone refers to it plenty of times for His followers. How JWs can disregard all these plainly obvious scriptures to anchor everything on their false interpretation of the 144, 000 in Revelations being the only ones who get to go to Heaven is so beyond me. It is truly spiritual deception! Well, thus the importance of reading the living Word for yourself ...in context, mindful of how the rest of scripture interprets scripture!) Anyway, I agreed that certainly there will be a new Earth and a millennial Kingdom but our ultimate destiny lies in going to Heaven …as we trust and believe in who Jesus is and claimed to be—making Him our Lord God!

Like a lot of comparatively recent heresies that now try to assert themselves as orthodox/Biblical Christianity, JWs too believe in “nihilism”, whereby if you don’t inherit eternal life you will die and basically be no more—no pain, no consciousness or anything as your soul is no more. I tried to explain to him that Jesus said a man must be born again to enter heaven, that to God we are all ‘dead’ before we are born again and saved. Yet, even so, in our spiritual death, we can still feel, think, experience things even though we are dead, just as for those don’t inherit everlasting life in heaven, but remain “dead in their sin”. I told him that he would then have to discredit all of Jesus’ references to Hell as a real and everlasting place where there is anguish and torment—a place of punishment. I asked him how he could get around those scriptures. As I’ve heard from Seventh Day Adventists, he replied that to be separated from God is an everlasting terrible thing. I replied “so then, how can that be so terrible for the person experiencing it if they have no consciousness? They wouldn’t care, right? They wouldn’t be able to think, feel or anything? It just doesn’t add up. Saying that there is no Hell from which to be saved, makes a mockery of the cross. …Why would Jesus refer more times to Hell and damnation than even the Kingdom of God if it wasn’t even real or everlasting?” How can you be punished of you’re not even aware of that punishment? Why would Jesus attribute you much emotion, and experience to it if in fact there is no experience whatsoever, just nothingness?!. That means that essentially there is no conscious consequence for sin for the unrepentent. (Most people I’ve talked to who aren’t believers have no problem with the idea of basically going to sleep or existing no more, in comparison to an everlasting Hell.)

Anyway, at some point my wife came out and we very briefly told him of her powerful born again conversion experience and how Christ was clearly revealed to her (as God)and that Hell is a real place (something she would have moments earlier recoiled at, especially as she didn’t even believe in the notion of sin in the first place)! This experience was real and lasting, she was completely changed (and physically healed) that even non-believers saw and still see it. He said he could ‘respect’ that and saw that we were very passionate for our faith! J Not surprising that he would say that, really. I mean, after Loiue wouldn’t make eye contact with my wife when she asked him to pray to Jesus, at one point she got on her knees and implored him to ask Jesus who He is, to honestly/openly ask, being willing to give up his pre-conceived ideas and follow Him if/when Jesus showed him His true nature. We told him how much God loved him. My wife actually asked if she could pray for him, at which point it became rather the reverse of typical JW witnessing scene, where it was actually the JW who was rapidly trying to back out of the situation, literally walking backwards, back to his team waiting in the car! Ha!

We left on a good note and said we’d pray for him. I told him he was bold and brave to go door-to-door but encouraged him to not just settle for this Earth when he can have Heaven as his inheritance!

We both really liked Louie. I saw a lot for goodness and sweetness in this man. Man! I just want to see his boldness and spirit used to proclaim the real Jesus! If you are reading this and know Jesus, I would ask that you pray for this man right now and for the dear, sweet little kid who accompanied him, that the light and truth of Christ who invade their hearts.

I will end this with perhaps my favourite portions of scripture in the entire New Testament, echoing Genesis, chapter 1. Note that Jesus is referred to as the "One and Only" but also at the end it states God is the 'One and Only', that only God has seen God. Also, interesting to consider is that 'nothing' was made without Jesus, so even if considiring JW's view that Jesus is 'created' then it took Jesus to create Jesus! Truly Jesus, as God is the great I AM, eternally existant. To think of God having always been, always existing, Alpha and Omega, without beginning or end, is truly mind "blogging"! : ) To me, it makes complete sense that God would have a humanly speaking paradoxical nature so beyond our limited finite mind's ability to comprehend such an infite, omniscient, onipresent, eternal God. Wow! God you are amazing! Thank God, Thank Jesus, literally, that He chose to be clothed in mere humanity to make Himself further known and to be that sacrifice, that bridge--all for us! He loves us that much. Wow, wow, wow and WOW!!

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. Through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made. In Him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.
…
He was in the world, and though the world was made through Him, the world did not recognize Him. He came to that which was his own, but His own did not receive him. Yet to ‘all’ who ‘received’ him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become the children of God—children not born of natural descent, nor of human decision …but born of God. …

The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen 'His' glory, the glory of the ‘One and Only’, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth…

John testified concerning Him. …For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God, but ‘God’ the ‘One and Only’…”

-The gospel of John, Chapter 1: 1-18.

-"d"

2005-10-18T22:31:00.000-04:00

If you want to rely on religion, then....

OK, I’m going to preach to the choir for probably all of you that might read this blog, but just in case any of you don’t know Jesus’s definition of what exactly is good religion:

If we just want to rely on ‘religion’, then we would do well to model it after Jesus’ clarification where He said that “real religion is taking care of widows and orphans”! Yes, that’s it, that alone is right and good! His point, of course, to the religious clergy and leaders of the day, is that religion (and even just good acts), in and of itself, will never save you! (If being good and following the outward law alone was enough then the Pharisees and Sadducees would have had no need of Him (as they thought), and in their religious pride/blindess they denied their very promised Messiah, and author of Life!) Who were Jesus’s greatest enemies and the ones he preached agasint the most? —Those very religious leaders who thought they didn’t need to repent of anything, and didn’t need the Life Jesus referred to and referred to Himself as! Hmmm….sounds like what we as a society think today, doesn’t it?—Thinking we are good enough on our own, and can rely on our experience alone to somehow earn Heaven when over and over again we are shown that “all” fall short of God’s glory and complete Holiness. “There is none righteous” among mankind, not one. And thus mankind is still dealing with the same heart issues, jealousies, murders, violence, and problems as ever, inspite of great advances in science, technology, learning, etc. It is our human nature—that is the problem! (We never have to teach a child to be selfish, to not hit, etc, etc, but everone has to be taught to be selfless, good, kind, etc!)

I know a lot of people who hate the notion of people somehow being sinners, revolted at the very word “sin”, but if that bothers you, maybe it would help to just call it “human nature” then—either way it doesn’t match up to God’s standard! Some of us may be better long jumpers than others, even Olympians, but when the distance needing to be jumped is as the distance between us and God’s standard, far wider than the Grand Canyon, it makes little difference just how good we are! (Only Jesus is that bridge.) When Jesus spoke of the most religious and 'apparent' righteous of the day, as far as mere works go, He said, “For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the Law, you will certainly not enter the Kingdom of Heaven”! So friends, yes, do good, but remember that we are only justified by Jesus’ imputed (given to us) righteousness which can only be given to us if we have accepted His death and sacrifice on our behalf for our sin so we didn’t have to pay the penalty. Eternal, true life in Him is a free, unwarranted gift.

We all need to confess to Jesus, as Thomas did when he saw the resurrected Christ, that He is “My Lord and God” of which Jesus commended him, and as he did upon Peter's confession, after asking the disciples just who was He. Either way, whether a Christian or not, we all must know Him deeper, listen to Him, and do accordingly. Jesus said “I am the life and the resurrection.” Who else displayed such authority and did such things? Why trust in what your latest author might profess, or what some religious leader might profess who themselves never claimed to be God or Life itself as Jesus did?! Only Jesus has done things no one else ever did and claimed such things, and upon whom millions of lives have been radically, spiritually dramatically changed in tangible, fruitful ways! (Note that Jesus’ enemies never denied He did incredible miracles, but they rejected just whom He claimed Himself to be as they blindly judged it as blasphemy, etc!)

How anyone can just settle for Jesus being just a ‘great man’, or ‘prophet’ (as Islam too suggests), without caring to find out what He actually claimed to be, is beyond me! If what Jesus claimed of Himself and His Earthly mission was/is untrue or unnecessary then most of what He spoke was completely ludicrous, actually! But if true, then His words are the most grave, profound ever spoken, and His Life the most central, important for all ever lived, and thus we had better come to terms with just who is Jesus! And indeed, Jesus said“Heaven and Earth may pass away, but My words will never leave you!”

Don’t put off resolving just who is/was Jesus any longer, if you haven’t seriously and honestly considered Him already. One day every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord. I’d rather get to it now and start growing in this amazing, joyous journey of knowing Him as such than plod along in my own limited, faulty human nature, trying to get it right, or perhaps, relying on less qualified others who can’t do any of Jesus' miracles, whom never even claimed the mantle Jesus uniquely did, only to then one day be forced to confess Christ later when it is all too late!

-"d"

2005-10-15T17:29:00.000-04:00

Who is Jesus to you?

At my son’s last soccer game, a grandmother I was talking with asked me "Do they (Brits) play "that" there?" I looked at her a little incredulously but politely tried to clarify if she actually meant ‘soccer’, to which she replied “ Yes, soccer. Do they play that in England?”! I was surprised that someone wouldn’t know it’s an English game and informed her gently that “not only is it played in Britain but the modern soccer game was invented in England”! I’m not sure she believed me; she was sure it was Mexican or something! Ha!

She then followed up with “so, you’re originally from England; well, they’re all Catholic over there, aren’t they?” “No, Protestant actually.” to which she exclaimed“Oh! Lutheran!” “Well, the Church of England, mainly.” “What’s that?” she asked. I answered that it was rather high-church whereupon she then concluded “Oh, Episcopal, then?” “Well, yes, sort of.”

I informed her that around 60% or something consider themselves Christian in Britain, (some say higher, or even lower—depending on what survey you read), but of that, only about 6% of the population actually goes to church regularly, and of that, how many really believed in the gospel was hard to tell. She looked at me a little quizzically but then her daughter piped in that she had finally made a Lutheran friend back when they lived in Wyoming, but this friend married a man from Lebanon and has been there ever since.“Yes, it was quite a culture shock having been born and raised in Iowa most of her life!” she added.

Apparently, this ex-Iowan now lives there alone with her 4 children 9 months of the year whilst her husband works back over here, in America. She also mentioned that her friend and the kids really stuck out in a crowd as they were all blonde and so people always look at them. “Yes, I imagine so!” I replied. She assured me though that it was “OK”, as she had converted to Islam and her children were Muslim too! Rather amazed, I asked “No? She really believes that Mohammed is God’s greatest prophet, and in the Koran, etc.?” “Yes, she’s a Muslim!” To add to the oddity I found out that these kids names were “Mohammed, Ishmael, Ali (or something like that) and Lola! As I sat there taking all this in, rather dumbfounded, the daughter commented, “She’s so brave!’ Isn’t that brave? I think that’s great …oh, and Lola is sooo cute!”

I should have acted on it more and somehow tied in the gospel, but really, was so amazed by the story that I was still thinking it all through. The only thing I added instead was that it was amazing and how hard it would be to have a girl in that culture, and wondered aloud if this woman really believed or felt some cultural pressure to ‘publically’ convert. Anyway, if I had been a better evangelist I could have mentioned that only Jesus claimed ultimate authority and made himself equal with God, to forgive sins, etc, and how could he have said such tings if not true, being that they (Muslims) believe Jesus was a great prophet where they know that a prophet can not lie! I could have too tied it back to this woman’s background and talked about the difference between dead religion and real relationship with the living God but that could have been hard to do, being that they were Lutheran themselves—to clarify: I’ve found that oftentimes talking about a “personal”/transforming relationship with Jesus Christ as one’s saviour and “Lord” is something foreign to many ecclesiastical traditionalists. Well, we can pray though, right? Please pray for this Iowan convert, her Lebanese husband and children, that Jesus said of Himself that he is “the way, the Truth, and the Life!” Another scripture that comes to mind is where Jesus replied to Pilate “You are right in saying that I am a King. In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.”

All this reminds me of just how important it is for us to know Jesus and what He not only said then that turned the world upside down on it’s shoulders, and changed how history was even recorded (A.D. , B.C.), but what he says now too and for all eternity! He is the beginning and the end. It all starts and ends with Jesus—He is the Alpha and Omega as revealed to John on Patmos. Anything we do, any life lived outside of Jesus as the center is missing the whole point of life/creation itself! If this woman had really known Jesus as her own Lord, healer, saviour, there is no way she would have ever embraced Islam, and denied Him as Lord! What we don’t need is any more mere outer religion or ‘churchianity’, but real relationship with God! —If your spiritual life, ‘religion’ isn’t changing you, transforming your desires, mind, producing real, lasting fruit then it’s empty and void of real meaning! If your standards are the same as everyone else, and you look to them for what is right or wrong then what good is that when Jesus said that broad is the road to destruction… and narrow is the road to Life and few find it! He also said that “friendship with the World is enmity (or “hatred”) with God”! A sobering reminder indeed! It is so easy to want to look to only have those around you in the world to confirm and reward you and tell you what’s right and wrong—we can even do this as Christians at times, but it will always you empty in the end, outside of Jesus!

-"d"

2005-10-10T23:01:00.000-04:00

A Lutheran blog!

Well, I'm finally adding a second link under "Christian blogs/sites" on the right column of this blog. I've gone here enough times now that I think it worth adding. Let me state that unlike the "Life" blog, this is not really as personal, but Stew (the author) does bring up some good theological issues and accompanying scripture which I always enjoy having available and can usually get somethign out of. What's interesting in this blog is here is someone going to seminary to be a Lutheran pastor, who, whilst holding to central Biblical tenets, sees just how worldy and unbiblical a lot of the Lutheran church has become. Still, there is always a faithful remnant. Anyway, I should stress there are no doubt some areas where we would disagree on Biblical interpretation or stress some thigns as more important, but nevertheless he is passionate for defending orthodoxy, and upholding Christ--well-needed in the liberally bent 'high/liturgical' churches!

-"d"

2005-10-08T00:52:00.000-04:00

Wordly Hearts Revealed and doing the Will of God

(Updated. I decided to go back and clean up typos and edit this post down in order to be less 'detailed', etc.! )

A week ago I had a most troubling conversation with some others. What made it particularly upsetting was that some there at the table are apparently self-professed Christians. Actually, I don't know if one of them would actually say they have a real 'relationship' with Christ or even consider it (but if any of them really know Jesus is between them and God but I wonder). Anyway, at some point the conversation got onto inane, dumb reality TV shows. After not saying anything for quite a while they finally asked me what I thought of what they were laughing about, expecting me to perhaps join them in the hilarity. I didn't want to say anything as I really loathe those sort of shows so thought of how to say it fairly non-offensively whilst still reamaining truthful, so said, "I don't find "potty humour" funny or redeeming". They seemed a little offput as might be expected!

At that point they moved onto other wordly affairs at which point one of the guys started talking/laughing about some of the things that happened back in his fraternity days. He relayed stories about how drunk they would get and how 'fun'/hilarious it was. (I have never ever liked rude obnoxious drunken parties, even back in College so really didn't find it amusing). These stories went into some fairly sordid detail which i've decided to delete from here. Bascially, the end result was that I found myself appalled that these fellow 'apparent' 'christians' not only didn't seem to share my concern, but laughed right along with it all, seeming to genuinely enjoy the almost tragic drunken escapades involving women, etc. At that point I think I might have rather over-reacted, but spoke up over everyone and told them "I don't think that's funny AT ALL! That's so sad and utter debauchery! Do you know girls like that are raped at an alarming number every year in campus parties like that all over the country? It's terrible for some girl to be taken advantage of and just imagine how would you feel if that had been your daughter or some other loved one?!" I went on and said a few more minor things about how irresponsible and immature I thought the whole partying/frat scene was and then ended by stating I was now going to get off my soap box but did feel very strongly about this! It's no joking matter! There was shocked silence followed by everyone starting to vehemently nod and agree that it was wrong and terrible, etc, etc. They then though rather quickly, changed the subject with everyone just gaving me that look: "how dare you!" (You should have seen the raised eyebrows when I said "debauchery"! --Not a word one hears very often but I couldn't think of anything else to say and was thinking of that scripture! LOL!)

I began the weekend feeling dejected and upset at the morality and wordliness of the 'Church' (even if these particular people are 'real' believers or not). I can take it from the 'world' and expect it, but when it comes from those who identify themselves as 'Christians', whether they are or not, it IS so sorrowful as Christ's name is publically defamed eitehr way.

It's hard enough to be a Christian man with temptation all over in this day and age but made even worse when those who are meant to be your brothers in arms are laughing at and enjoying the exact same worldliness, TV shows, humour, as the rest of the world. (No wonder why I have little respect so for few Christian men once they start talking about the stuff they watch and enjoy, wondering if some really know Jesus or not, because if they did how could they hurt him so publically?!) I was pretty disgusted with things.

Unfortunately, this then spilled over into my mood! I tried to pray for everyone involved in the conversation and the stories and for me--to be a good communicator and more effective, but I allowed it to fester into bitterness and ended up not being in a good mood at all later that night. (For some reason, Fridays are often my hardest days at work and, in turn, Friday nights are often my worse nights at home). I was impatient with everyone and not a good example! All my attempts to go that much further were shot down, utterly ruined by my own hyposcrisy. I felt so utterly upset at myself too as I should know better than to be crabby and critical, especially after having been revealed so much, so powerfully just a week or so earlier!

Honestly readers, sometimes I just want to give up then and there! As I told my wife later that night it is so discongruous to have this set of super high ideals and beliefs about how things should be in the world, in the church, and with oneself but to remain an imperfect being! I can't live up to any of the standards. As St. Paul wrote: "I do the very things I don't want to do!" It feels so hopeless at times. Yet, I can't just give up, give up 'this Christian thing" as I know it is the truth! It's not like some self-made religion where we choose what we want to believe in and what we don't. No, we have faith--"the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen". I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jesus is alive and real! I know Him, and not only that, I know He died on the cross for my sin (and everyone else's)! How can I ignore this? I can't, obviously! So, whether I want to live carnally and just give up trying to maintain some standard that most of the church doesn't even to seem to care that much about, I can't. I can't deny the reality of God, His holyness and that He has been with me since I was a small child. I know He is right there! I have no choice but to go on, as imperfect as I am.

I know that it is only by grace we stand and was actually reminded tonight in this youth church I went to that all over the Bible it talks about "those who love ME [God] obey My commandments". If you love God, you obey Him, simple as that! The Old and New testaments are filled with tons of verses that discuss this and how this brings joy and peace. (I have to admit I don't think I have much joy and peace, and am holding onto selfish justfications.) Adversely, those who disobey God willingly, can have God turn a deaf ear to them . He does not reward disobedience! Rather, He knows we are most truly fulfilled when we walk in His obedience. Sometimes a seeming act of sacrifice can actually lead to far greater spiritual rewards and highs than what we gave up. When Hudson Taylor (the great missionary to China) gave up his very last coin to a more needy family than he, even though he tried to argue with God over it but gave in, in obedience, he later wrote that his soul was set soaring! The next day he ate only thin watery porridge but described how eating it was better than a king's feast! He was so blessed in his conforming to God's greater will and trusting Him. His joy was made full--as Jesus promises. We are indeed utterly blessed in our inner being by God when we chose to walk in His ways.

So, anyway, this last Friday just sent me crashing back to Planet Earth. I basically didn't try to walk in obedience this week. I was lax on prayer and attitude. Yet, God is so good! What does He do but bring me to a church I have never been to before and have me hear a sermon all focused on the joys of obedience! Of all weeks! A good needy reminder when I was choosing to go the 'easy' route instead in my heart. Before the sermon I couldn't even honestyl, full-heartedly, sing the lyrics to the last song about wanting "to go where You go Lord"--I knew I hadn't been that way all week. But then came the sermon and some other unrelated blessing shown to the person I went with, that I was again filled up, encouraged and wanting to go for it all for God!! Yes God! Set me full sail into your depths of Love and action! I would rather starve in righteousness than be a fattened King, enjoying the temporary, deceitful pleasures of this world! What is Life but to do the will of God?!

-"d".

2005-09-30T20:32:00.000-04:00

A Sorrow Revealed

Last week at church was a fairly 'regular' service. I wasn't expecting anything at all, nor did I particularly get some huge insight from the sermon or anything, so it was such a shock to me when I lined up with my family to take communion and suddenly, unexpectedly, the conviction of the Holy Spirit came on me like a ton of bricks. I tried to hold it back as I received the elements, but by then my eyes were already welling up. The person giving the 'bread' must have noticed and sort of prayed a quick blessing on me. I picked up the cup and then quickly rushed to the back of the church and knelt down, on my own, in a quiet sort of darker corner of the room. As soon as my knees hit the floor it all came out—I sobbed like a baby. You know, the kind of crying where lovely snot is pouring from one's nose. I just couldn't stop it. Very infrequently do I cry like that, one of them being when I was baptized in the Holy Spirit—on my wedding day!

Both of these times were similar in that in each case I was so strongly convicted of my utter sin, and my utter need for Jesus. This time though, I was appalled, gutted, by the indelible image invading my mind. I saw that my every wrong judgement, every negative word, every criticism, every complaint, struck Him violently in the face. My words were the thorns crushing, piercing His brow. Jesus bled because of me. There were shards of bone lashing His face too, and repeatedly He was struck by blow after blow--all of them because of my sin. He was being beaten because of my sin, even for the compartatively mild ones that I can so easily brush off. Nothing escaped Him as a result of my inquitous beatings--all because of my own folly, my own choices to keep on sinning. He was receiving the punishment for every sin I had commited before, and presently allowing. And yet through this all, somehow, I saw His deep love looking at me hauntingly. He was like the 'Christos' of Byzantine paintings--so serious, yet so suffering.

Even as I write this, almost a week later, I have to force back the tears. I felt such deep, deep sorrow. It was pitiful even. The worst part of it all was that in spite of whatever empty promises I might have ventured to say or hope to do, I just knew I would sin again. It was/is inevitable! It so sorrowed me that I couldn't do better for my Lord. It was like I saw my promises, my words, my aspirations, fall to the ground hollow--like an empty used can. I was reminded again of how utterly dependent I am on Him (and how much all of us are).

Before this, I had been trying to draw closer to Him in obedience. I know I am not saved by good works, but yes, surely it does please God when we go the extra mile for Him, when we sacrifice for Him. He will reward all good works, all good fruit. Let us not have everything burned away like chaff in the day of revelation when we give an account of our own actions. I don't want to just barely make it "as if through fire", by the skin of my teeth.

Anyway, since then, I have been trying to more consciously choose to lift up every occasion, and opportunity I have where I can either do right or do wrong. I want to go the extra mile for my wife, my kids, my co-workers, friends, loved ones, etc. In the end it's all for Him.

Lord Jesus, I am so sorry. Help me Lord to walk the pilgrim's road. I love you so much. You alone are my everything. Forgive me when I act otherwise.

-“d”.

2005-09-17T15:47:00.000-04:00

A Comic Relief

At the library I usually scan the ‘new books’ display to see what else is out there that I wouldn’t normally check out. In particular, I enjoy looking at the book cover designs—the colors and pictures used, in what style imagery is depicted, the fonts incorporated and how they are used, etc. I have to admit, I am the classical consumer, being generally more drawn to books well designed than those not. The same goes for shampoos, cookies, coffee, tea, any product really, extending to websites, and even blogs.

Anyway, on this occasion, I thought it would be therapeutic to steer away from my usual diet of serious books, covering serious topics, always grounded in non-fiction, and instead try to break out into something a little less meaty, even frivolous, God forbid, but whatever, something lighthearted and comical! And so I opened up one of those intriguing new books. It’s title was an odd cascade of fonts: retro and base, faded and crisp, all on a clear blue sky pressing down on an old gritty crowded Western, yet European-looking, prairie town underneath. Sure enough, the back cover promised comedy, in the vain of Garrison Keillor, “teasing out the absurd from amidst the familiar”—just the cup of tea I was looking for! After skimming through it quickly, making sure it wasn’t offensive or vulgar, I checked it out for a latter laugh.

As it turns out, of course, it has not been that enjoyable; is, as I should have expected, fairly worldly, more so than I care, so have just ended up skimming through it and will probably not pick it up again. Too bad as it started off with such promise: a classical, yet hilarious exchange of quips between husband and wife. DW laughed out loud when I read it to her and kept nodding in sighs, “Oh, too true, too true”! So, Elwyn, I offer this for your comic relief… and to whomever else might peruse our ‘new books’ blog!

         ........................

The chapter starts out with us learning that Dave’s wife, Morley, has joined a neighbourhood Christmas club, which, she assures him, is nothing to do with Christmas but ‘community’. Weekly, these women get together to make paper, decorations and the like, with someone always hosting with a yummy treat prepared for all. (Hmmm…why can’t us guys do something like this socially? OK, not the decorating part! But wouldn’t it be fun to just get together to talk and do something creative, building community through real conversation? Instead, the only avenues offered through church at least, usually revolve around cerebral Bible studies or bravado sporting events where I really don’t care that much about who wins and hate to have to suffer through all the obnoxious loud beer/party ads.) Anyway, Morley starts to fret that there are only 62 shopping days left until Christmas:

Then Dave said something he had been careful not to say for weeks. He said, “I thought this thing wasn’t about Christmas.”
   Which he immediately regretted, because Morley said, “Don’t make fun of me, Dave.” And left the room. And then came back. Like a locomotive.
   Uh-oh, thought Dave.
   “What?” said Morley.
   “I didn’t say that,” said Dave.
   “You said ‘uh-oh,’” said Morley.
   “I thought ‘uh-oh,’” said Dave. “I didn’t say ‘uh-oh.’ Thinking ‘uh-oh’ isn’t like saying ‘uh-oh.’ They don’t send you to jail for thinking you want to strangle someone.” [Ok, don’t like that reference, but bear with me.]
   “What?” said Morley.
Morley slept downstairs. She didn’t say a word when Dave came down and tried to talk her out of it. Didn’t say a word the next morning until Sam and Stephanie had left for school. Then she said, “Do you know what my life is like, Dave?”
   Dave suspected—correctly—that she wasn’t looking for an actual answer.
   “My life is a train,” she said. “I am a train. Dragging everyone from one place to another. To school and to dance class and to now-it’s-time-to-get-up and now-it’s-time-to-go-to-bed. I’m a train full of people who complain when you try to get them into bed and fight when you try to get them out of one. That’s my job. And I’m not only the train, I’m the porter and the conductor and the cook and the engineer and the maintenance man. And I print the tickets and stack the luggage and clean the dishes. And if they still had cabooses, I’d be the caboose!”
   Dave didn’t want to ask where the train was heading. He had the sinking feeling that somewhere up ahead, someone had pulled up a section of the track.
   “And you know where the train is going, Dave?” said Morley.
   Yup, he thought. Off the tracks. Any moment now.
   “What?” said Morley.
   “No,” said Dave. “I don’t know where the train’s going.”
   Morley leaned forward over the table. “The train starts at a town called First Day of School, Dave, and it goes to a village called Halloween, and then through the township of Class Project, and down the spur line called Your Sister Is Visiting. And you know what’s at the end of the track? You know where my train is heading?”
   Dave looked around nervously. He didn’t want to get this wrong. He would have been happy to say where the train was going if he only knew he could get it right. Was his wife going to leave him? Maybe the train was going to D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
   “Not at Christmas,” he mumbled.
   “Exactly.” said Morley. “To the last stop on the line—Christmas dinner. And this is supposed to be something I look forward to, Dave. This is supposed to be a heartwarming family occasion.”
   “Christmas dinner,” said Dave tentatively. It seemed a reasonably safe thing to say. Morley nodded. Feeling encouraged, Dave added, “With a turkey and stuffing and everything.”
   But Morley wasn’t listening. “And when we finally get through that week between Christmas and New Year’s, you know what they do with the train?”
   Dave shook his head.
   “They back it up during the night when I’m asleep so they can run it through all the stations again.”
   Dave nodded earnestly.
   “And you know who you are, Dave?”
   Dave shook his head again. No, No, he didn’t know who he was. He was thinking maybe he was the engineer. Maybe he was in the locomotive. Busy with men’s work.
   Morley squinted at her husband. “You’re the guy in the bar car, Dave, pushing the button to ask for another drink.”
   From the way Morley said that, Dave could tell that she still loved him. She could have told him, for instance, that he had to get out of the bar car. Or, for that matter, off the train. She hadn’t. Dave realized it had been close, and if he was going to stay aboard, he would have to join the crew.

      —Home from the Vinyl Café. A year of stories.
         Stuart McLean
         ........................

-“d”.

2005-09-15T00:40:00.000-04:00

Hungry

My outward attitude wouldn't show it very well, but I am hungry for God today. I want to get on my knees and pray. Not a burden but a delight.

-"d".

2005-09-12T10:15:00.000-04:00

Expecting the Worst

Hi Duncan,

Someone once said that the theology of some looks like a French garden, whereas the theology of others looks like a rainforest. I say that’s fine, but remember that the French garden is man-made. Therefore, if one is a squeaky clean 5-point Calvinist who always pleases himself about the sovereignty of God, or a positively foolish Pentecostal who is always assured of God’s plans for healing and corpses being raised to life, then I say that the benefit of stepping out of the greenhouse to camp out in the rainforest is having some cold water poured on one’s head.

Jesus is walking along, and he takes notice of you. He doesn’t see an American; he doesn’t see an Englishman. He says, “Here is a true Israeli, in whom there is nothing false!” You are a gift from God 'Duncan'!

You have only one Pastor, and he offered you only one Sermon yesterday. What he said was that “in this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world!”

What are the unique specifics of your calling? I know not where the Lord wants you to go at this hour, but I know where I’m calling you to. Make plans to live near me, lest I be completely alone. Let our families live the urban modern life together – even if not slick or particularly cultured. Like two flats in a big apartment complex, or two row-homes stuck together.

Today I join with you Duncan, in “Duncan’s Prayer,” the latest of David’s Songs. Elwyn therefore prays: “Lord, I am weak and I am strong. I am faithful and faithless. I am convicted and un-convicted. I hope for all things and yet fear. I am like the one tossed to and fro by the waves of doubt, yet love to be the one out standing on my own in the midst of peer contempt or pressure to act otherwise and boldly proclaiming my conviction. I desire to do God’s will, to die to myself, but also want to live for myself. I want to live spiritually, to be resolute for Him, but also indulge carnally in attitude and heart and am mindful of temptation. I want to sacrifice and live for God but wallow in the mire of what at times can feel like suffocating responsibilities, knowing I need to take care of my family, need to provide and be an example, when I feel so inadequate and so often fail. I am selfish.”

And now, Elwyn explores the other songs of David's heart.

He sings of his enemies.

O Yehovah, how many are my foes who rise up against me, who say that my God will not deliver me!

He sings to get attention.

Give ear to my words Yehovah, consider what I long for... listen to my cry for help O my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O Yehovah, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

He sings out to his Strength.

Deliver me, my Great God!
Strike all my enemies on the jaw;
Break the teeth of the wicked.

He sings to get forgiven

O Yehovah, don’t rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath.
Be merciful to me, Yehovah, I’m faint;
O Yehovah, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
My soul is in anguish.
How long, O Yehovah, how long?
Turn, O Yehovah, and deliver me;
Save me because of your unfailing love.
No one remembers you when he is dead.
Who praises you from the grave?

He sings of his Glory

O Yehovah, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

From the lips of children and infants you blast the decibels of your praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.

All the words of Yehovah are flawless, like silver refined in a furnace of clay,
purified seven times.

He sings out his hopes

Oh, that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion!
When Yehovah restores the fortunes of His nation,
Let Jacob rejoice and Israel be glad!

He sings the somber song

Yehovah, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?
He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous,
Who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue,
Who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellow man,
Who despises a vile man
But honors those who fear Yehovah,
Who keeps his oath even when it hurts,
Who lends his money without interest and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things will never be shaken.

He sings the song of a champion in victory

With God’s help, I can advance against a troop, I can scale a walled city.
It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to stand on the heights.
He trains my hands for battle, my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me.
You stoop down to make me great.
You broaden the path beneath me so that my ankles do not turn.

I pursued my enemies and overtook them; I did not turn back till they were destroyed.
I crushed them so that they could not rise; they fell beneath my feet.
You armed me with strength for battle; you made my adversaries bow at my feet.
You made my enemies turn their backs in flight, and I destroyed my foes.
They cried for help, but there was no one to save them – they cried to Yehovah, but he did not answer. I beat them as fine dust borne on the wind; I poured them out like mud in the streets.

You have delivered me from the attacks of the people. You have made me the head of nations. People I did not know are subject to me. As soon as they hear me, they obey me; foreigners cringe before me. They all lose heart; they come trembling from their strongholds.

Yehovah lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God my Savior! He gives his king great victories; he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed one, to David and his descendants forever.

- e

2005-09-12T02:06:00.000-04:00

Living in Faith and Expectation?

How does one live without expectation? This is the question I find myself pondering every now and then when I find that life isn’t as I expect or expected it to be, nor as I even might have hoped.

In some ways though it is a lot better than I could have ever imagined. As a teenager I hoped I would one day get married and have kids, but realistically, expected I would probably amount to nothing and never be able to fend for anyone, let alone myself. I imagined my future being one where I lived in a tiny studio apartment, overlooking rooftops covered in pigeon droppings, over which were strung clotheslines and wet laundry blowing in the wind. There, I would live cold and miserable, doing the one thing I could do—paint, being a poor “dosser” artist as some would tease. The whole thing would be a rather dank, despondent existence. I imagined my one physical comfort being therapeutic hot cups of good strong tea and walking London’s terraced neighbourhood garden squares, which of course, was highly fanciful as I probably wouldn’t have been able to afford to live in such a neighbourhood, even if just leasing such a small bare bones flat. I had convinced myself I didn’t need any of the excesses of modern life. Matter of a fact I had a fair disdain for much of it, and fancied a more monk-like or hippy-like existence…without the drugs or booze the latter might suggest!

Naturally, I would suffer from a terribly wheezy, chesty cough too, as I had done so every winter, and no doubt one day it would kill me. Sometimes I liked to imagine a slick city life but reality and my own conscience always thrust me back into line.

Horrible, isn’t it? I’ve had talks with Elwyn before where he mentions how in his last years of high school he was in many ways at the top of his game—popular, smart, etc (not that he isn’t also now!). Mine was just the opposite. Not only that, but it was never ingrained in us, as it is here, that we could be anything we wanted to be. Even our teachers didn’t seem to believe in us, especially one like myself who was insufferably lazy, hating school and all the social pretense and positioning, …and thoroughly depressed to boot. No one dreamed big dreams! It was a time of economic strain where we considered we would be lucky if we even had a fairly decent job doing whatever.

I looked at my mother, so obviously smart, gifted, and with all the social graces and upbringing one could hope for, and yet here she was struggling to make ends meat as a career working single mom, robbed of her inheritance—hardly the life she was raised to live! We too were bred well, just as was my mother. We knew our heritage, manners, the Queen’s English, and yet we had far less than most of my working and middle class friends and peers. It all seemed so grossly unfair that I didn’t feel it was even worth starting out only to fail and to never be able to fit in any social circles. I had absolutely no confidence in myself. Everything we had went to place my sister and I in private schools. It seemed wasted on me, but in retrospect I am so incredibly thankful for it, limiting as it could be at my school too. And yet, because of my contempt for most of my teachers, my revulsion to the idea of ‘worldly’ “success”, my lack of motivation and care for proving myself in any way, my displacement and lack of confidence in myself was magnified.

My Dad, living so far away in the States, tried to encourage me with his typical can-do attitude of always being confident in oneself. I remember once he mailed me little white postcard-like notes with positive sayings on them like “I can” or “I will”, etc, which I taped up on my wardrobe mirror, and would half-heartedly say every now and then.

The trouble was that nothing ever captured my imagination in a real way. I identified with a life of suffering and worry. I saw my mother so often worry, rightfully, about finances. Many times I saw her cry in despair over feeling alone and overwhelmed. On top of this there were all the health issues and the hospitalizations where at times we were afraid she might die and our lives would be radically forever changed. Maybe that’s why I was so drawn to Christ even in the midst of my teenage angst and heart rebellion. In Him I saw ‘a man acquainted with grief’, one whom had ‘no place to lay His head’, no home. I also loved the fact that Jesus was against the grain of his day. He appalled the educated, religious, cultured elite even if they were yet amazed at his somehow learned deep knowledge of scripture. He bowed to no one, not even Herod or Pontius Pilate. I identified with Him, that He must have so often been treated as an outcast, after all He was nothing more than a ‘Nazarene’ (‘can anything good come out of Nazareth?’ as the Pharisees would sarcastically muse).

Although I loved our worship at church and would devoutly go to our weekly pastorate groups where we would sing songs, pray and discuss matters of living out our own faith, I never felt like I really fit in (although I enjoyed it). I had the accent to blend with any of the young ‘Sloane Ranger” types, yet I often felt different to everyone. My outward presentation suggested one whom had little regard for pretence or even for basic self-respect, I suspect. I suppose I didn’t like the apparent elitism I saw, perhaps it was because I never felt one could ever be good enough. There was always competition and one-upmanship. Although there were many good Christians in our church, there was also an undeniable snobbery, even if never openly confessed. (Thankfully a change in leadership helped bring in a fresh start and a chance for God to move…and indeed move He did, but not soon enough for where I was heading.)

Through my youth I was really a torn person: on one hand I was very serious about my faith, confirmed at 13 within the church of England in perhaps the best church in Britain, at least within normally stuffy, dead religion Anglicanism; was thoroughly proud of my Thatcherite Englishness (I loved ‘Maggie’) when it wasn’t hip to confess such things, yet was also proud of my Americaness, something too often derided in school. Although my friends and I felt we lived in the centre of the universe in the greatest city, let alone capital in the world, and would never want to leave it, there was nevertheless a distinct part of me that also longed for the American, casual laid back Californian lifestyle. I identified with relics from the past, such as Simon and Garfunkel and, in particular, George Harrison—music just not considered remotely trendy in Britain during that time. Yet, too, I was just as much into the quintessential mod band, The Jam, as were many of my peers (a truly unique English band that never made its mark here). Either way, melancholic songs were my staple. I thought of myself as the dark horse. I thought of Jesus as a dark horse.

A foundational book for me then was “Is Anyone There” by David Watson. It intellectually satisfied many of my wonderings, just as Josh McDowell’s “More than a Carpenter” would later in my 20’s. David Watson actually visited our church and I remember my mother describing meeting him was as if she was talking to Jesus—He was that much present—such love made manifest. God’s fire and deep presence was seen in this man’s eyes. He was a powerful voice of faith during that time to so many Christians, and so it was devastating when he was diagnosed with cancer. He stood on rock solid faith he would be healed. He and many around him believed it would be a sign to many, a powerful testimony. Yet, he sure enough died, leaving a wife, and I think three young children behind, who were utterly devastated, yet remained resolute nonetheless.

During this time, even so, my faith was growing. I was hungry for the things of God. As there was no Christian radio or media, I would sing to some George Harrison songs that were actually to Krishna, or Supertramp’s song to Babaji, but would instead sing them unto my Lord. “What is My Life without You by my side?” or “Babaji, oh won’t you comfort me, won’t you help me to find the purpose” were truly sentiments I sung with utter heart! But without the Word, without the Bible’s central authority upheld in our Christian circles, I had no anchor from which to navigate my life. Instead, consistent with my dual nature, at the same time I was falling in love with Jesus I also derided believing in archaic Old Testament Bible stories, like the Flood, Jonah, or even the ugly notion of a Devil, let alone an eternal Hell! No, I was far more into my Dad’s ‘open minded’ outlook of reincarnation, his input on aliens, and a fair bit of what I would now say was occult fascination, something that was readily accepted around me.

Just as David Watson’s prayers were not answered as I had expected, so was my eventual belief in those Bible stories! At the hands of a rather sick, manipulative man who used guilt and abused his position to get my best friend, Ollie, and I to publically re-confess our faith and to be baptized in the Spirit, I nonetheless suddenly believed, while running our way out of that church, totally freaked out! The gift of faith was imparted in what most would consider an abusive situation! Perhaps this too helped build up an expectation that miracles will always happen in ways I don’t expect or pray for. Basically, little happens just as one expects, nor are we guaranteed anything in this life. Truly we stand on God’s grace alone.

Since then I have witnessed incredibly powerful, undeniable miracles and healings, some involving my own wife and kids, particularly my wife’s radical, powerful, instantaneous Demascus-like conversion! Again, something I never expected or even dare dreamed, instead only offering feeble minded, apparently hopeless prayers, grounded in nothing but fear and certainly with not one shred of faith. She was the last person in the world I ever expected to believe in Christ, but God had other plans! Praise God! (Truly I will thank the Lord for His mercies here for the rest of my days. It is such a profound thing to see one delivered from such despair and darkness, and so much into God’s marvelous healing and light. Truly born again! An entirely different person. Not to say she is now perfect, by no means, but that destructive element, that inner despair, rage and darkness is gone, replaced with a totally different mindset, and anchored in the trust and love of God, a very 'real' God and Lord.)

Yet, I have also seen others die who believed firmly they would be healed, even with some others’ prophesying such things. It makes me rather annoyed when some will say that indeed that person has been healed, spiritually, and now they are in perfect peace in heaven. Yes, that is true, but no, that is not the kind of healing that was believed in! I find myself suspicious of those who try to twist everything to look good for this side of eternity. Yes, ultimately either way it is good—I know that of course, as a Christian. The Word through St. Paul clearly states, “to live is Christ, but to die is gain”. Our ultimate destination and hope is Heaven, but let’s honestly admit that sometimes, perhaps even oftentimes, things just don’t work out as we expect; sometimes things just aren’t apparently meant to be.

So, where am I going in all this? I suppose I am trying to get at the heart of why I find it hard to live life with faith and expectation, in reality so often seeing that it usually makes things worse to hope for things that don’t happen. It makes the heart heavy and ill.

I know beyond a shadow of doubt to believe in man offers nothing but false hope and platitudes. Man’s sinful heart condition never changes. Regardless of how good or bad we may have it, we all at one point or another deal with covetousness, envy, lying, choosing bitterness over forgiveness—mere ‘human nature’ as some prefer to label it. Even if it has only ever been in our heart or mind as Jesus warned, it is to God just the same as if we had acted it out! A sobering thought when facing a holy God whom has never even considered thinking a white lie! Truly our lot is hopeless without the hope and grace Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf offers. In the end I trust no one yet my tendency is to trust everyone! (Matter of fact I am often charged as being gullible as I tend to expect others to be upfront as I.) Yet I know that it doesn’t make any difference whether we are a pastor or whatever—we all fall short of God’s glory. I suppose that’s why sometimes too I find myself getting ticked off when some preach with such confidence that their particular interpretation of scripture is always correct, regardless. Sometimes it strikes me as almost proud or arrogant to suggest we can always predict God’s will or desire in all circumstances such as faith or healing. I am not talking about the fundamentals of orthodoxy of our faith but those things that I’ve referenced above. We can't so easily, safely, put God into a nicely arranged box when it comes to the affairs of man.

In the end, as good or bad as this may be, I tend to hold out only one real assurance for this life: “In this world you will have trouble (tribulation), but take heart (be of good cheer), for I have overcome the world!” as Jesus told his disciples. I find no other rock solid absolute promises He himself pronounced for every Christian but this. Yes, no doubt there are many things to aspire to, and many blessings can be had (I have been the recipient of such things), but the other absolute assurances we can confidently anchor ourselves on are almost entirely based on the life to come. Truly this world is not our home, this is not our ultimate hope or destination. How can I place hope, living in a world that is passing away? I certainly wish and hope for many things but I find a lot of it is perhaps built on this fear that very little is guaranteed in this life. Reading stories of tragedy and horror happening to even those who have placed their lives in God, and being reminded that the Word also says the rain falls on the just and unjust, referring to God’s judgments, I am further grounded in ‘uncertainty’.

All this though somehow conflicts with what I know the Word also says: that, among other things, "He came to give us life and that more abundantly"! Am I living an abundant life? On the surface, in many ways, yes! My life has been blessed beyond measure. Yet, inside I am not living consistently in the fruit of the Holy Spirit—the very outward signs a believer should manifest: "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, meekness, gentleness and self control"! I live in both realms. On one hand I live with a lot of love in my heart, and definitely peace in my salvation and our eternal hope. I have faith—“the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen”, but also I have fear, and a lack of expectation, looking beyond the glass half empty to the smudges and fingerprints, etc! I tend to gravitate towards melancholia, if not that, anger. I see miracles. I see despair. I see God’s profound work in others and myself, and yet, I see shortcomings, hypocrisy in myself and others, short-ranged, poorly thought out sermonizing, and to boot, disheartening stories out there in the world, that it all doesn’t exactly build me up. I know that ultimately we must not walk by sight but by faith! I am thankful for my faith, as inconsistent as it may well be at times! At the same time I am not one to stick my head in the sand and ignore the sufferings in this world, at least not by not reading about them. I am not one to offer platitudes. All I can sincerely offer is hope, love and concern, and inwardly worry, but grounded in a lot of prayer too! My wife would say that we all see such things but we can choose to focus on that which is good, true, lovely and holy as the Word also declares. Certainly, I need to grow more in this regard, but every time I do this it feels like my hope and any built-up positive wellspring is always dashed.

Lord, I am weak and I am strong. I am faithful and faithless. I am convicted and un-convicted. I hope for all things and yet fear. I am like the one tossed to and fro by the waves of doubt, yet love to be the one out standing on my own in the midst of peer contempt or pressure to act otherwise and boldly proclaiming my conviction. I desire to do God’s will, to die to myself, but also want to live for myself. I want to live spiritually, to be resolute for Him, but also indulge carnally in attitude and heart and am mindful of temptation. I want to sacrifice and live for God but wallow in the mire of what at times can feel like suffocating responsibilities, knowing I need to take care of my family, need to provide and be an example, when I feel so inadequate and so often fail. I want to live the cultured slick urban modern life, to escape the boredom of safe homogenous small town life yet am too afraid to change from the familiar, nor remove my family from where they are so well rooted in health, love and spirit. I am selfish.

Someone essentially suggested in prophecy the other week in a group prayer time, that God had shown me things, that I even knew what to do, but just now needed to walk in them in obedience. But, you know, I really haven’t the foggiest notion what I am to do with my life beyond that which is expected of every Christian: to protect and provide for one’s family, to lay down my life for my wife, to love God and others, to be a good, honest worker, etc. But, what are the unique specifics of my calling, or maybe there are none? I have things I can daydream on but they are just that and entirely impractical.

In conclusion, the sum of it all is general despondency. I gravitate towards melancholia. It is OK though. I rather like being there. It feels honest. What I don’t like is failing others though, particularly my children or wife, or others failing my own expectations. But who am I? Like all of us, I stand on nothing less than God and his faithfulness, whether I feel it, know it, or realise it! So, please, please help me God. Don’t let me waste my calling if there is anything else for me out there. I want to live for You but don’t know how to do it nor feel I can do it. Don’t also let me chose the easy path or safe path if there is something harder or braver you are calling me to. I just must know it is you or I can’t do it. I don’t want to walk in my own suppositions. I can’t die to myself but you can aid me, direct me, in spite of myself! God, have mercy on me. I am pitifully sorry for not living in an attitude of worthy praise and honour, befitting your Glory, your incredible Majesty. I fall down at your feet, again and again. I need to be there. I like to be there. Empty me. Undo me. Pick me up and set me on your path. I love you Lord, as shallow as that may be. I am not worthy of your name yet you clothe me in righteousness, in your Son, in Yourself, in Christ!

-"d".

2005-09-05T22:41:00.000-04:00

Parading Around

The Labour Day parade was rather blah for what is meant to be an exuberant procession. Last year it was more jazzed up as the election was around the corner so there was distinctly more gusto when the party representatives and candidates passed, as well as all the volunteers for the various referendums, etc.

Really, the most exuberant of the bunch were the Israeli Celebration Dancers running up, down and around, holding Israeli flags and the Stars and Stripes. Banners declared they were Christians supporting Israel with Biblical quotes on how God will bless those who bless Israel, that He made an everlasting covenant with the Jewish people, etc. Their energy and boldness was impressive …as always. The only part that sort of dishevels me somewhat is when I learned that no one actually knows what is being sung about with most of the upbeat, energetic Hebrew music to which they dance. They are simply modern Israeli dance beats, admittedly very catchy, but who knows to what they might actually be praising the Lord?! I mean, I can imagine some songs might be singing about some break-up, or something akin to “Let’s boogie down on the dance floor, baby” or something equally ridiculous! LOL! Oh well, at least God knows their hearts! Maybe it’s best they don’t know what the songs are actually about. One can’t suppose there are that many Messianic songs for Yeshua in the Jerusalem-jammin’ pop charts!! Regardless, they are a strong voice for Him, and I know they truly love Jesus.

Another funny episode was when the float for a particular local contemporary church drove by where the “praise” band was rockin’ out some tune, looking very hip and all. The Caucasian electric guitarist had very cool, authentic looking Rastafarian dreadlocks. I thought “OK, I’m hip to that,” admiring their cross-over appeal, so started clapping and hooting in my fairly civilized manner, only to just then learn that they were actually wailing out to the Eagles’ “Hotel California”!! Catchy perhaps…for some, but dreadful! Lyrics suggesting some angel of light taking the singer to this place described as “this could be Heaven, this could be Hell”, etc. (You know the song, no doubt.) To top it all off, just to show how trendy and “seeker-sensitive” they really were, one of the band-mates wore a T-shirt emblazoned with one word only: ‘death’! Lovely. “Come back, guys! You’ve crossed waaay too far over yonder!” Well, ok, sooo, moving on, shall we?!

My wife says I am being far too cynical and doesn’t find such cynicism humourous! She’s giving me one of those looks. Oh well, it IS my blog, after all. Well, ok, it’s mine and Elwyn’s.

Speaking of coming back: “Elwyn, come back, where are you? You have neglected your blogging duties!” No worries, I shall bravely forge on ahead with or without you! I admit -- I love to blog. It’s becoming my hobby! Not just that, but reading some choice blogs too when the occasion arises. Half the time I have no idea what I’m actually going to type until I just start out. It’s an adventure of sort. Matter of a fact, just my sort of adventure! Unlike so many camper-hikers around me, I’m not actually into venturing out that much into the natural surrounding wilderness. I prefer a fair measure of ‘safe predictability’, ‘virtual’ as it may be!

-"d".

2005-09-04T00:38:00.000-04:00

From Refugees to Pioneers

I don’t know what to say about Hurricane Katrina and the ensuing horrific devastation. Any words I write here seem so hollow. I sit here in the comfort of my house, my children happy playing with friends in our living room, my wife by my side reading and hopping up and down tending to the daily needs of our family, so how can I possibly add anything to the stories unfolding, readily available everywhere? I can pray, yes, and certainly we have prayed! I can give, and certainly we will give! By now we should have given. Just as the initial response was slow and inadequate, the same holds true for me. I offer tears, heartache, sorrow, prayers, and yes, anger, to mix to the heated debates televised and on the radio stations, but money? No, I’m sorry to say, not yet. I have more to add to that later.

As people are suffering and the need is so great I feel so selfish to ever be concerned about our own financial needs. I am all too aware of our own monetary shortfalls but every now and then I am shocked to my senses by just how menial they are in comparison. I can still go about my life and enjoy my day. We’ve laughed and enjoyed each other today. Having the day off, I have been the master of my own schedule. Truly, we all, as people of the modern free world, live like the best of Kings in days of old.

Last night, I got my “fix” of all the hurricane coverage. I flipped back and forth trying to catch the latest story and listening to the PBS (Public Broadcasting Station) analysis and in-depth discussion from various angles. How can anyone not be moved by all the massive loss, fear, sickness and death? When the personal stories unfold it is made that much more real. We imagine what it would be like if it was our own children whom we had lost, or if they had lost us. We imagine if it had happened to us in any way, how would we have faired?

Having been through a flood, almost a decade ago, where we were chest high in water, rescuing people from deluged swirling cars, I know it’s still nothing compared to the horror down South. Here, it is dry, no humidity. The flood damage was nowhere near as widespread. Rather, it was so isolated that those in other areas of our town didn’t even know it was happening. All most others noticed was the torrential rain ...if they were still awake. I remember the smell of mold and rot from the discarded furniture and such lining our streets. The piles of rubbish seemed to last for weeks and weeks with endless trips for some to the City dump. The air was filled with little gnats and fruit flies and all this in our super dry climate! I imagine--what if our flood had been in a climate like New Orleans? Instead of just affecting a relatively small locale, what if it had been this 250+ mile swath of endless ruin, with people not stuck for hours but for days, with no food, no water, and some with guns--a mass of violence and death all around. It is truly beyond comprehension.

It was bad enough here. The sense of loss in our community, particularly in our neighbourhood, was real, even if we didn’t know anyone who died that well, if at all. We still noticed our surrounding blocks torn through by the rising water, but in the end for most of us, it was really nothing more than a scary 'novelty', as sad as that is for those who lost loved ones. Yes, we lost some material stuff, some so much more so than others of course, but there was never the ensuing chaos, anarchy and horror of those left on roofs starving and dying, or trapped in the squalid mass of sweltering rage-filled humanity. In 6 hours it was pretty much all over here. Yet in 6 days in New Orleans we still see loss and sorrow upon sorrow. Thank God hope is rising and relief is here. There has been a real turn of events. The media has actually done a good job of covering this tragedy, not only reporting the obvious potentially ‘sensational’ stories, but the gripping stories of heroism, of loved ones reunited and tears of sorrow turned to tears of joy for some precious few.

The progress made gives us a false sense of reassurance that things will get back in order somehow, that the President is right and New Orleans and the surrounding communities will be rebuilt. But, how? It won’t be weeks, not even up to 3 months before residents will be allowed to return in some manner as some report. How can it be? Even here, it was around 4 months before all roads and areas were cleaned up in the worst hit neighbourhoods and ours wasn’t even a small fraction of the horror of lower New Orleans! I talked to someone the other day who worked with the City dump. She shared how it was several, several months before landfill operations were returned to some semblance of normalcy. Our landfill was made full and other arrangements had to be made.

Turning to New Orleans and Mississippi: I think if the magnitude of the eventual rebuilding was fully known most would just give up and move elsewhere, never to return, as no doubt a fair number will anyway. It seems that some hope has to be given even if they admit it will take years as the President has forewarned. To admit defeat would be un-American. It is not the American way to take things lying down. Ours is a “can-do” nation of builders, survivors, refugees and pioneers. What would have been considered unconquerable to the average man is but a threshold to be crossed here in America.

I would have never left Plymouth Rock if I had been one of the original settlers, let alone have traversed the Rocky Mountains and to keep going until one could go no more with the other side’s shining sea stretching beyond. No, I would have remained in Europe no doubt, sad as that might be. As a spoiled individual of the modern age, I was even trepidatious just moving across the Atlantic with support of family and the comfort of modern flight!

Why do I mention these latter things? I guess that as I write this it dawns on me that what might seem unimaginable to me is not, not to others with far more vision to offer than I. New Orleans will survive, and perhaps, it will be better than before. Perhaps the seedy underbelly of what once also called “Sin City” will be cleaned up in the eventual rebuild. No doubt the levees will be strengthened and heightened, and the environmental impact of building a city in such a region of waterways, swamps and bogs will surely be properly considered this time in a way that the past never afforded. Instead of building upon error laid down from the beginning, everything can now be reconsidered, renegotiated, made better and safer—a testament to those lost that their ‘senseless’ deaths were not forgotten and not in vain.

After 1666 London was built up again from the ashes. With it, the bubonic plague was driven out. The rats and fleas were gone, as a better, more sanitized city was reborn. Perhaps we can say the same of New Orleans one day? Let’s certainly pray so.

Ours remains to help in any way we can, even more so if we claim to be the Body of Christ. My wife is looking to see if there is any need for someone like her to go down there and help in some way. My bother-in-law and sister-in-law are helping those settled in San Antonio ...and I will give.

-"d".

2005-08-28T01:11:00.000-04:00

Love leads to Fellowship.
Fellowship leads to Love.

Today started with the plan of just spending the day with my kids, trying to intentionally bless them, to fill them up with love… and to give my wife a break, a day off at home, void of any driving!

So, we went to a local festival and parade, watched a documentary on penguins and even ate out! One of the stops included going to the bookstore, Elwyn, where I read the inside flaps and back cover of “1776”. Wow. I could totally get into that book! It’s amazing after all these centuries that new stuff can still be learned and discovered. ...I think Elwyn is right: that George Washington really seems to come alive in the pages. I definitely plan to read it, maybe over the Christmas break when I plan to take off a couple of days, but right now (as for the last two years!) I am still in the throes of a very thick book called “Berlin” on first hand accounts of those in the War. I am actually starting to wonder if I will ever finish it as I keep allowing myself to get distracted with other less meaty books! (One I have right now, for example, is from the Library, called “A Public Betrayed – An Inside Look at Japanese Media Atrocities and their Warnings to the West”. I got it to primarily learn more about their fervent nationalism with their amnesiac view of their less glorious past, and particularly their ardent, embedded anti-Semitism. Speaking of this, I was fortunate enough to talk with a Jewish Japanese friend of ours the other day whose parents came from Japan. She confirmed this sorrowful anti-Semitism and added it is simply spread down by silly myths and lies that Japanese people, like with other stories, are all too ready to accept, but isn’t all racism spread and passed on as such? I understand too that being Japanese includes a clear spiritual identity, making it that much harder for them to know Christ.)

Anyway…now where was I? Oh yes, back to our day’s excursion. Really, we didn’t and don’t have the cash to do that sort of thing, but you know, occasionally I need to show my kids I don’t always save the best for our guests and others …as they often like to suggest! I want them to know I cherish them completely. We can’t always scrimp and save where they are the ones perhaps most affected, as I might tend to do. I guess in my mind I justified the day’s excursion too, thinking that, really, this was just another form of sowing into the Kingdom! My wife wouldn’t think twice about giving the same amount to church or what have you, but somehow it can seem so indulgent when on one’s own family. But, really, what is our most impactful way to sow seeds of righteousness, to advance the Kingdom, but to invest in our own children? Children need to not only be trained up in righteousness, to love God and love the Body but they first need to know that God loves them through the love their parents give them ...ideally. All work, all teaching and no play doesn’t bring good fruit, and if anything, leads to the letter of the Law and empty, dead, deeds-based religion. Yuk! Conversely, as is often the case in the States, unfortunately, with how kids are raised: all gifts, all play, all wants met merely trains children to be selfish and materialistic with a never-ending appetite for more. It is so true that our culture truly does reinforce having “fun” as the ultimate goal in life! How empty and self-centred in the long run. (To that end I am really, really trying to make a more concerted effort to not add “have fun” as my usual refrain with the kids or others, but to simply wish them a “good” time, or to be “blessed”, or just to “take care”, etc.)

Anyway, it was a great day. After having been out for most the day we finally got home around 5:00 pm only to find that my wife had ended up spending the last 3 and a half hours fellowshipping with a friend who had all her kids over here too. That’s so often the case -- my wife gets a chance to spend some time alone, to nurture herself, but often ends up nurturing and being nurtured by others, being fed in the fellowship of the saints. It is life giving! God fills us up as we give ourselves to others. I have heard some over the years say things like “well you have more time” or “I/we don’t have the time” but more often than not it really comes down to priorities. Even when we were both at University, working close to 35 hours or so each week and going to school full-time, or when I commuted almost 3 hours a day, or the year I worked every day of the week 4 different minimum wage jobs, we nevertheless somehow always found time for that sweet fellowship. (When I look back, I honestly don’t know how we did it, how I had the energy, but by the pure grace of God!) When one is most stretched, that is not the time to starve oneself of life-giving, spiritual life-sustaining friendship! It all leads to building up love and seeing His faithfulness revealed in ways we wouldn’t see if one doesn’t avail oneself.

You know, I honestly don’t know how Christians make it or grow if they aren’t fellowshipping with others who are passionate for God, who can inspire by example, who help build one another up, and in that developing trust, where accountability and honesty goes both ways.

We try to do everything we need to during the week and to leave our schedules on the weekend completely open for what God might have …as well as being flexible for others during the week too. Funnily, but just an hour ago some friends whom we really haven’t fellowshipped with in over a decade called on the off chance we might be around and so we can look forward to that time with them and see what God might have in store. My children don’t know their kids very well, naturally, but what better ways for them to learn to deal with others they aren’t maybe so comfortable with?

I’m so grateful for all the times my mother had people over, many often far different from herself, and where we grew up watching and learning how to converse by example over formal, polite, yet engaging dinners, etc. I think this is one particular area where the English way of life and child rearing is so oftentimes different and advantaged. Children learn the art of conversation, yet at the same time just aren’t expected/allowed to be obnoxious, rude or loud and self-demanding, particularly not at the dinner table! Well, at least not in the circles we grew up in!! Instead, they learned at a very early age how to enjoy meals with others. Also, my wife always notices how good English people are with our kids when we’ve been back there and how engaging they can be, even with little tots, drawing them into conversation. It’s just part of the culture I suppose. (Yet, I’m afraid I wasn’t around little kids enough as an older teen or adult to learn that skill there and so have never gained that advantage with conversing with other’s little kids to such a degree.)

Well now, sorry to get distracted again! So easy to do. I can tend to want to go in so many different directions all at the same time when I write. So, back to fellowshipping again! Actually, I have to admit, there certainly are times where I have things I really want or “need” to achieve, and sometimes just have to do them but oftentimes not—such as doing the bills that couldn’t get done earlier, or lawn work or what have you, but we try to allow others to take higher precedence and value over these ‘temporal” inanimate things. (Our Kenyan brothers and sisters have been such awe-inspiring examples for us in this regard. They always have time for each other and share wonderful stories from back home. They actually pity the American church where everyone is too busy for each other, leading to grave isolation, exhaustion and such. I remember many of them sharing how they thought it would be so hard to grow and be a Christian in America!) So, yes, these chores may indeed be important but in the long run just how important are they really, compared to others? The true, genuine, Christian life is one of being others- focused, after all. I’m so, so, so challenged by Jesus’ words that “the greatest among you in the servant”--the lowest among you! Just as Jesus laid down His life for others, so we are to do the same. I am in no way even close to where I know God would desire me but I can say that learning to fellowship certainly helps to build up the desire to love others more as God’s love is so often freely expressed. He is truly in our midst when two or more gather in His name!

-"d".

2005-08-19T17:46:00.000-04:00

Love across Nations

Another aspect of the theme that you are laying out for us to ponder, brother d, is the love-unity across nations. This inspires me. Our Messiah is King of the kings of every nation. In Him, we as His Body are the living fulfillment of YHVH's promise to Abraham, to make a community of nations from his descendants.

What inspires me especially are certain points: brotherhood (or sister-hood) between disciples in wealthy nations such as America and disciples in the poorest of nations such as India; and the bonding that is intended between disciples in Israel (our spiritual trunk) and disciples anywhere.

This week I was touched when a brother of mine in India sent me an email, which is a petition that is circulating to express support for Israeli control of united Jerusalem. Later that week I called him, to learn about a training that he just conducted for new believers in India, to help them to expand the Kingdom.

Here are some of the highlights...

I will refer to this Indian brother as brother Nate, since Nate means "gift from God" and he is a gift into my life.

Nate relays to me over the phone (we're nearly 12 hours apart)...

"The training was a very positive experience. Twenty-four people attended. I expect that we are going to hear very soon some very good results. We’re going to find out who is the smartest and who is the dumbest. Some people talk a lot and do nothing. Other’s don’t talk at all – like they are useless – and they turn out to be some of the best people.”

“These are run-of-the-mill people, who really caught the vision and understood their responsibility that the Kingdom should grow through them – expand more through their village, more through the adjacent forest. These people are not fully literate – some might have 7 to 9 years of schooling, but they can't really read."

"They are full of fire. All 24 were very, very fine people. There are two kinds of people. One answers and sits down. They are teachable. The other will try to argue. They think they know. Every time they stood up, they tried to understand better, obtain a wider understanding, of what was taught. They are very teachable. In particular, they want to know how Jesus discipled... What was the way that Jesus evangelized... They want to understand Endvision. They asked numerable questions."

"These are all poor people. 18 of them are working on others’ farms. The rest are doing small farming for their family. 3 were women, 21 men. Everybody was married, with children, and 1 to 3 kids. Some had 4 or 5."

"All are new believers within the last 3-4 months. They have no understanding of the written Word, but something was burning inside."

"Since they are oral people, they want to talk. They want to continue talking. They didn’t want to stop talking. They wanted to talk more and more about God. They keep on talking. They are full of fire. They kept on and on and on."

"What did we speak about?... About social issues, like the red marking on the forehead. In Indian culture, the red dot is religious as well as cultural and social. We talked about burning versus burying our dead. We talked about food offered to the idols." (Nate asks questions to encourage openness about these issues, with the aim of fostering growth through people groups. He has seen conservative Christianity raise cultural stumbline blocks that keep the movement from spreading).

(Elwyn inquired more about this, given what he knows about the Jerusalem Council’s decision regarding food sacrificed to idols, and also because Elwyn has no personal understanding of what food sacrificed to idols looks like or how it works. Nate explains...)

"When you eat socially, a small portion of what is offered to the idols is given to everybody present at the meal. Should we eat that or not? It is against the Bible, but the Bible says that idols are nothing. Should we be more open, or more conservative?"

"In India, the first fruit goes to the god. It is to bring blessing, for increase in prosperity. When cotton is grown, the seed of the cotton first is offered to the idol, then it is sewn. After it grows, they take a little cotton to the idol, the size of a small mango, to offer it up. It stays there at the foot of the idol, until it perishes or flies by the wind or falls down. After this first part is offered, only then is the cotton sold. The trade maker who makes trade, he gets the cotton and first offers a little for protection. Once he makes the trade, he offers the first fruit of the coins he receives. The cloth maker buys the cotton from the trade maker, and offers a small piece of it. After making the cloth, he offers a small piece of the cloth. The tailor buys the cloth, offers a little, and finally the believer wears the clothing. Should the believer wear the clothing? The believer has to wear clothes. Food is offered 100,000 times before it reaches the believer’s mouth."

These are some interesting issues. For me, I want to enter into Nate's world. I am not interested in weighing in on the issue, since I have issues of my own to figure out (which you Duncan have started to speak to). Rather, I want to be in India once in awhile, with my brother Nate, and sip tea and eat biscuits with him. And I want to see the Kingdom grow here in America, and to see it grow through me and through my spiritual friends and family.

- e

2005-08-15T00:36:00.000-04:00

Impressed to Love

I praise God for all the family He has given us in Him, all the saints and fellow believers who are called according to His purpose and who also seek to follow Jesus Christ, 'our' Lord and King, and to love His children!

Since my wife and I have been together we have seen the tremendous help given by parents and family nearby to those we know and love around us, particularly the blessings given by those parents who were Christians as it included such a spiritual grace-filled heritage too. We could, sometimes would, be tempted to feel envious of all the help we saw parents and even grandparents give to their loved ones, usually/often helping or completely paying for college, contributing towards first homes, stocking up fridges or simply helping with the kids or what have you. (As our parents were all so far away, in different States and Country, such matters were obviously made far more pronounced.) Being tangibly, physically close by makes such a difference too.

Yet more than any of this, it was in our first years together, then later as a couple with our little ones, forming a family of our own, and attempting to start family traditions in which we hadn’t the foggiest notion what we were doing, that we most felt separate and cut off. When the holidays would come around, invariably most of our friends would (and still do) leave to be with their own families and enjoy their traditions they have continued since childhood.

Thankfully, by this point God had already given us tremendous fellowship, dear friends, so when these friends would leave it was like we were losing our substitute family …and during the time one 'ideally' most enjoys having family nearby. More than most, I think we were (and have remained) acutely aware of just how much our Christian friends are indeed our family in Christ. Through such hardships and separation a deep goodness was borne. Missing them during these times and having most of our own blood family so far away gave us more time to reflect on the goodness of the fellowship we so habitually enjoyed. We realized more fully, perhaps, just how close these saints were to us, how much we loved them, and how much incredible richness God had placed in our lives through this family of fellow believers. And so, I think, through it all we really have learned to invest in our spiritual 'family' God has given us here. We don’t take them for granted. When we might happen to say "brother" or "sister" it is truly said with heartfelt truth and meaning, not merely some flippant religious expression. We have been blessed to know the richness of genuine Christian fellowship and experience. Truly "it IS good when brethren dwell together in unity".

It is too easy to get too busy for fellowship and instead put one’s initial family needs, or more so, desires, so regularly above others that in the end it becomes a self-centred, self serving, yet suffocating lifestyle. None of us, regardless of how precious our own families and children are, are called to be a self-contained, self-sufficient church, devoid of others. Rather, we are called to community. Jesus said "our father…", and that "wherever two or more are gathered in My name, there I am in their midst also".

We are described as one spiritual body with Christ as the head. None of us are called to only partner with the body parts most like our own selves, the other fingers and toes, just our own immediate family. But, we are called to learn to grow with and appreciate the greater, wider experience of what other individual devout followers bring to the Body of Christ. Iron sharpens iron. Potential blows can be used to forge us, building up perseverance and character, giving more opportunity to exercise the love muscle! When we get so busy with 'having' to get this chore done, or that job done or that obligation met, that it consistently becomes a pattern of self-service where we are "too busy" to have time to fellowship with others, to experience church, then we are robbing ourselves and others of the greater picture, and in turn, more importantly, the spiritual blessing of acting in love towards unity, where we are building each other up in the faith and growing as a result. It takes humility though, sometimes a lot, but isn’t our Lord the greatest model? We spiritually die, or at least severely weaken ourselves, when we get cut off from such life-giving fellowship.

He is more glorified when we come together. There is also strength in numbers. We can accomplish so much more together in this hurting world. He is actually there in our midst. It is too easy to get narrow vision. Ours is not a religion made of 'enlightened ones' or some guru up on some remote mountain top somewhere speaking eloquent perhaps, yet untested 'safe' solo spiritual truths to nobody but those who also climb the same mountain tops! It’s not just us and God where no one has the right to 'intrude'. No, we are called, matter of a fact, commanded, to love our neighbour as ourselves and especially those in the Lord; our love being a reflection of His presence and his nature. I like what we heard a friend quote the other day that "how much we are willing to be inconvenienced is a measure of our love." Or at least a love that actually counts for something and isn’t simply sweet nothing aspirations, spoken in our prayers and mediations.
... ... ...

It is really funny but this morning the sermon was essentially a continuation of where I planned to take this last night, before getting too tired and turning in for the night. I like how the pastor reminded us how Paul wrote to Timothy to beseech him to be a "partaker" in his suffering for the gospel!(Not exactly a sweet evangelistic sound-bite to get others on board!) Why? Because the gospel is worth it! Not only that, but it's the truth above all truths. Ultimately it all points back to magnifying who is Jesus Christ, just as He also commanded us to do.

I like too how the pastor talked about so much of the story is in the fire, in the rapids. He talked about how when he and his wife were river guides they would get together and discuss the day. The guides wouldn’t later sit around discussing how they hit this open smooth sailing part of the river and just…floated. Instead, the adventure and stories were in the rapids where their skill was exercised. As a Christian, it is in the fiery furnace, in the battle, we see His hand at work and we learn to work together for the greater good. It is where the spiritual life stories are so often made. It's such the opposite of our natural tendency to want to insolate ourselves against all hardship and suffering, to be as comfortable as possible. But in the end, how dreadfully boring, if we only live a life of self-serving comfort.

I am reminded that although as important and respectful as it is, it not our end goal to only be a loving, good husband/wife, a good provider for our families, and to occasionally love those who love us right back. "Even the unfaithful do this!"

I should clarify in all this that I am not saying, therefore, one must necessarily go to a literal church (building) to experience the richness of the Christian experience, but certainly it is to be an active participating member of His body, not thinking we are somehow better or worse than everyone else, whether we do this in consistent fellowship with other believers in our home or wherever, or chose to fellowship in a more formal setting where we may be exposed to people we might not normally get the opportunity to be involved with. (Even in a formal church setting it is so easy to isolate ourselves—I tend to do this myself, but thankfully I am still very much involved in other ways with the larger body of believers He as set around us—by His grace.) In either case we are called to pray together, to worship Him together and to be accountable to one another. We are called to serve in His name even to the least of men. If we can do this in some home fellowship setting, wonderful! For some I know, it seems to work better that way for them. I’ve tried it with some measure of success and joy before, but it usually seems to fall short due to lack of commitmen, more important when there are fewer to being with. I suspect in large part that is because presently we here in the affluent West are just not in such desperate need for one another as we would be if in the underground or persecuted church. It's amazing how persecution quickly separates the genuine from the superficial. The minor issues and excuses that can too easily separate us from the body, and even churches from one another, quickly lose significance when one’s very life or family is at stake.

I love the example the first century church gives us. In Acts we can read how much they loved to be together with one another. They longed for fellowship, meeting "regularly", (actually, I think it was every day), always coming together to not just talk and share, or even to pray, as needed as those are, but to worship Him in one accord. They knew the treasure they had and modelled fellowship for thier kids, and the next generation of believers. Did God honour such sacrifice, earnestness and humility? Yes! His power was poured out as they became more His, putting aside their own personal agendas, sharing their resources so that none was without need even. Boy, we have a long way to go! I could go on as much as anyone about this latter point, and probably will at some point in this blog, but not tonight. I could also go on too though about just how sweet fellowship can and has been in our lives, and how we’ve seen the Lord’s hand in the midst of it all, but that too is for a later date. Tonight, instead I leave you with the question I ask myself:
How much am I willing to sacrifice and be inconvenienced for Him? Is my personal comfort, my 'practical living' lifestyle goals, more important than His goals, His will, and serving as a part of His bride—the Church? Our life purpose in the end is all for Him. Are we 'His' or are we 'ours'?

-“d”

2005-08-10T00:46:00.000-04:00

Worship

I love to worship God in song, even though I am actually rather an awful singer! I don't like singing out on my own (or really even hearing most sing on their own) but when in a good, vibrant worship service it often can be a small hint of what's to come in Heaven when we know the multitude gathered around His throne will worship Him in Spirit and Truth. It will be as a sweet aroma to Him. There is no greater joy to me than singing with a multitude of believers who are also expressing their souls and hearts out back to God. If only I could get there more often though! I let things get in the way too often.

Lately, it's been quite soothing hearing my wife and daughter pick up the guitar and learn basic chords so they can sing some worship songs whilst playing an instrument. I haven't played guitar in a very long time but it has been so enjoyable to pick it up again, thanks in large part to Elwyn's sister who gave us so many good praise song sheets with chords, etc. (Now, if we could only figure out the strumming end of things!) I can't imagine any greater gift than to really be able to sing well, to be a good singer-songwriter. Wow. Elwyn's sister is one of those people, as is another good mutual friend we know. They are truly incredible. If they were in the World they would no doubt be well known and celebrated but for them it isn't about them at all, it's about Him, pleasing Him in song, etc. I always encourage them to continue to grow in their giftings. Sometimes I don't think they fully appreciate or realise the incredible gifts they've been given. Truly, some of the absolutely best, heart rendering, honest, soul inspiring worship songs I've ever heard have come from these two sisters.

One of my favourite older contemporary songs I've been playing ironically enough sings about bringing Him more than a song. As beautiful as worship is, it rings empty if we can't sing it with all our hearts, if we have distance between us and Him. We must accompany it with real discipleship. I decided for tonight to simply include the lyrics below for contemplation, singing it or not. I particularly love to sing the line I've bolded and italicized. It really sums it all up for me. I feel most intimate with Him when I am fully aware of how I truly have nothing, aside from Him. The best life has to offer is nothing without Him, in comparison. All good I have comes from Him whether directly, as in my children, or indirectly through my upbringing, love of others or work, etc, etc. I oftentimes do truly feel weak and poor(!) and yet as a Christian it's a weird dichotmomy because in this state when attuned with His Spirit, I know that is actually the best place to be. I am weak! He is strong! I am poor! He is rich in love, mercy, truth, righteousness, holyness,--everything I need to live a life worth living, to make a real impact on others, to be a balm of His Spirit. There is something inspiring too, almost visionary, about being the solitary loner pilgrim, picking up one's cross, as hard as it can often be, and walking on in His steps come what may, turning aside from the popular culture surrounding us and whatever it so deems 'worthy'. Truly He takes the lowly to confound the wise (in their own eyes)! I love that He mixes everything up. You can't put the Lord in a box. He continually surprises us, just as He did before and after the cross.

The Heart Of Worship (When The Music Fades)

(Verse 1)
When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart

(Bridge)
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

(Chorus)
I'm coming back to the heart of worhip
And it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing(s) I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus

(Verse 2)
King of endless worth
No one could express
How much you deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is yours
Every single breath

(Bridge)
(Chorus)...

-"d"

2005-08-09T01:12:00.000-04:00

Musings on worldiness and finding the right way

Sometimes I like to browse the blogosphere looking for some morsel of profound Christian experience or at least unique thought, as long as it is fairly well written and sometimes I’m fortunate enough to find a blog here and there, but most of which I generally tend to forget after a while. Unfortunately it seems a lot of the blog world though is populated with mindless rehashing of popular themes already supported heavily in the liberal biased, P.C. media. Of course one can’t help but run into endless anti-Bush vehemence and ridicule, all pretty much puppeting what their liberal pundits have already fed them. Likewise, one can find a fair share of posters that seem to have a love affair with popular media and entertainment, talking about one movie or TV show after the next that one imagines whether they do anything else or ever actually experience ‘real’ life. Really, I don’t mind it as it’s what one expects from the world, but what really bothers me is when it’s from those within the Church (the general Christian Church that is)—-you would think they would have something more to talk about and enjoy. I admit I just don’t get self professed ‘born-again’ Christians watching so much TV or catching practically every movie that comes out, especially when they model it for their kids and invite mindless cheap, low grade late night style TV talk shows or inane TV serials into their own homes/families/minds/spirit with children present. I am reminded of Keith Green’s song, as if from God, relenting: “You prefer the light of your TV, you love the world and [are] avoiding me!”

The other week our pastor was talking about being accountable to other Christians who can set an example for you and encourage you along the journey to continue growing and not grow complacent. He stressed the need to gather around other mature men or women who can speak bluntly into your life when you are in need of reproof. I know a wise man heeds reproof and certainly I agree with this sentiment. It takes humility. However, what bugged me was thinking about the pastor's position and those he gathers around himself. Yes, they are all Godly to one degree, in many ways far surpassing my own level of faith and desire to grow. However, with that said, it also struck me just how similar the core group of men/leaders are—-they all are fairly obsessed with movies and popular culture entertainment. Many a times before or after men’s prayer they will discuss at length the latest movie, some action/war movie, Star Wars, etc, with as much gusto as anything (it makes for a weird transition). I wonder how many of them would actually ever be able to come alongside their confidants and suggest that perhaps one is being too worldly minded and needs to set one’s mind on “whatever is pure, lovely, noble, right minded, holy, etc” as the Word says. Nope, just can’t see it. This is one of those no-can-do touchy areas one simply can’t talk about honestly without being accused of being unfairly judgmental and/or legalistic. Yet, some of the choices for movies are highly questionable and yet, generally, no one seems to even see any reason for restraint. I know Christians and youth group leaders who take their youth to see just about anything out there, all in the name of having “fun” and being entertained, in spite of the language, message being presented, etc, as if that is the be-all end-all —- having fun regardless. It is the American way after all, right? I’ve even heard the shallow excuse for watching David Letterman that it’s "so I understand the way the world thinks"—come on now, you’d have to live in a vacuum not to know what the world system and pervasive attitude is on most subjects—-just turn on TV for an hour or listen to secular radio or even what your co-workers say, etc. It’s all around us. Then some will defend it as “well it’s so funny”—again humour this time being reason enough to consistently compromise.

So, anyway, what am I to do as a Christian, while still respecting my authorities and “elders” and finding those who can speak into my life by example? What I really want to say is quote what Jesus forewarned that “friendship with the world is enmity towards God, the love of the world and everything in it.”—that would surely include a good bit of the TV junk out there wouldn’t it?! Quite possibly, yes!!

It really bothers me because I find myself struggling in this arena too! I want to see more examples in the Church, especially by those who claim the mantle of spiritual leadership and teaching!! A part of me 'just' wants to be lazy and just say “oh this one thing won’t harm me” or some other justification, and indeed in and of itself it may not that much, but accumulatively it certainly does—it weakens my resolve, dampens my love for Him as it’s replaced by some cheap substitute or temporary thrill. Yes, it’s like the parable of the sower: the things and cares of this world begin to choke out the Word, killing any previous spiritual vitality. We get so easily dulled and entrapped and when one’s shephards are even worse off than oneself in this particular regard where does one turn for accountability? (Yet, I praise God so many of the women are following these sort of Holiness callings for the Lord far better than many of us guys, and being powerful examples too--no wonder their prayer groups at our church are experiencing evidently so much more anointing and power, with a lot of spiritual fire! God rewards greater obedience out of love for Him and serving with consistency.)

Then, on the other hand, one has the true legalists who live more by the letter of the Law than the Spirit of the law, and who, in their strict obedience, seem to excel at quenching the Spirit, particularly when it somehow gets tied into a matter of salvation, rather than one being 'saved by grace through faith, that not of ourselves, it is free gift of God that none should boast' as Ephesians clearly defines. Instead they too easily fall into empty religion when Jesus actually says the only religion that counts for anything anyway is feeding widows and orphans! (I'm always cautious of those who seem to have more affinity and identitiy with their particular church/denomination of Christianity than with the wider body of believers, His Church, His bride! It's too easy to get "clique-ish" and miss the bigger picture.)

I suspect then, a good bit of legalism is a reaction to the abundance of ‘cheap grace’ where the evangelical Church has sort of let grace abound (as the Word also warns against), all in an evasion of perhaps sounding too harsh or something! Yet, revival has never come on the coat tails of compromise and feel-good messages! Jesus wasn’t hated for being a nice guy and saying easily digested P.C. truths. No, He confronted man on his sin nature and the utter need for His sole salvation, turning away from the world and all its entrapments. We barely ever hear about this, in modern day American style evangelism anyway.

I don’t know. I’m not saying I have the answer. The truth is there in the balance between extremes no doubt, not completely leaving out the call, the requirement to holiness, but not continually checking up on each other either as there needs to be room for the Holy Spirit to mature the believer, as He indeed continually does for those who choose to draw near to Him. He is the ultimate task master and guide. I guess there's the rub—-will we draw near to Him or not? He promises to draw near to us if we will only do so. What prevents us? For me, at times, it’s simple lack of faith, but sadly, I find myself oftentimes really just reacting to something I’ve heard preached that doesn’t line up somehow… but in the end, none of that counts, I know. One day I will have to stand before Him and give an account, not for means of salvation but for reward or loss: what did I do with all He has given me and with what I’ve already been shown? What was the spiritual fruit of my life? Did I pass it on freely (and consistently) to my chldren and affect those around me...or did I choose the easier, broader, road to worldiness, apathy and spiritual comatose-like death?

We are better off hot or cold than lukewarm where one is so comfortable and yet tempted to beligerance where no one has the "right" to speak into one's life-- basically pride , pride, pride! It's so easy to get into a state of affairs where we think it's just 'us and God' when the Christian life is so much more and a big part involves real community/real fellowship/real church. It's odd that one can find this same spiritual fruit in those who cut themselves off from fellowship and those who, while in the midst of continued 'fellowship', don't really grow in ways they could as no one is there to challenge them, where it gets easy to feel good about oneself when almost everyone else around one is on the same ground. I am reminded and 'challenged' that the Lord says "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks". With what are we choosing to fill our hearts and minds? Are we sharpening ourselves in and for Him or dulling ourselves spiritually like the frog in the boiling water? I have to admit, I oftentimes don't like picking up my cross and following Him. My human (carnal) nature is to be self-centred.

I have so few Christian men I can honestly share my burdens with and be encouraged by. So few whom I honestly really wholly admire. But there are some, thank God! Rather, too often I see a sea of Americana wordliness where, yes, in spite of it all I do still see growth and real experience and fruit by God's grace, as He does indeed "work out all things to the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." Yet, I would love a deeper friendship/accountability level with someone nearby who is not my wife as there is then too much personal stuff at stake (although she is truly God's messenger to me so many times too and I am so thankful for her)! I am thankful for brothers like Elwyn who have been gracious enough to share my burdens in humility and encourage me towards loftier goals. Often too it comes down to whether they are willing to pray together or not and then how do they pray. Is it full of 'agenda' or with openess?

Let me finish by wrapping this up with what I first started musing over--wordliness among Christians. To this end, going back to the blogosphere, there are some really wonderful blogs out there that lift me up, encourage me, that aren’t overly preachy, yet the writer is passionate for Jesus, or at least has some entries seeking and oftentimes finding more of Him in their prayer life, worship, community or whatever--sometimes profoundly so. One such blog that I have now got into the habit of reading is by a German young woman called Bianka who writes www.timesandseasonsoflife.blogspot.com. I would encourage any Christian who wants to get some initial fire back in their life to go and read some of her archived entries. (Well, obviously you've got to pray and follow too!) It is amazing how we are all one big family, those of us in Him regardless of where we live, our backgrounds, race, age, etc.

I am encouraged too by the fact that oftentimes when I am weak He is made strong. He is able to work within me for His glory beyond my own limitations. It continually astounds me how Jesus is continually coming to us in Love, pouring out His grace, even when we have been negligent or even outright deliberately sinning. One act of simple humility and repentence and He is there to build us up again. He even is wooing us back to His father’s heart when we are straying. I certainly have seen this in my own life. He has always been there by my side, whether I was following Him or not. He is my one constant. He is the rock, the centre of my existence, my reason and purpose. All else is but fleeting shadows compared to His glory! I am only ever truly fulfilled when at the centre of His will, serving Him and others in whatever way He shows me. Show me, Lord, how to serve you rightly. I love you Jesus!! Amen!

-"d"

2005-08-08T23:19:00.000-04:00

A few Democrat ideals...

Elwyn-

I left you a comment from the July 17th posting with your q's. So read that first. Here is a follow-up that I thought worthwhile logging as a separate post.

Ok, so, I suppose I actually have one or two areas in which I actually more agree with the Democrats—albeit few and far between! The other Democrat issue that I am grateful for is the fact that they have tried to keep the idea of some form of more affordable healthcare on the table. No, a national health system, one size fits all, is not going to work, but I also think our current system in the States is severely lacking and rife with greed! (It seems to me too many doctors enter the profession here not out of a genuine desire to help others in servitude, but to make a lot of money. I’ve run across too many doctors and dentists who treat their patients poorly like they work for them, rather than the other way around!)

It appalls me that a significant percentage of bankruptcies in this country are a result of those who are overcome with medical bills. There needs to be a better safety net for those who, through no fault of their own, end up in such financially dire situations where they have no option but to sell off everything and go bankrupt! Talk about adding misery upon misery.

Perhaps, such considerations as one’s credit rating can be employed, and certainly the hospitals and doctor’s offices shouldn’t be allowed to charge interest to those who can’t afford it if installment payments are being faithfully made.

I’d like to see a strata-level of health care too. It really makes me upset when someone (like us) chooses to be in pain from a tooth ache or something rather than face the debt of dental work or seeing a doctor, or those who avoid giving their kids braces simply because it’s a “luxury” they legitimately can’t afford, or those who put off necessary check-ups for the same reason and then, later, end up sick, thereby costing our system far more than if they had been allowed to initially get a free check-up without every visit having to cost so much money, especially when seeing specialists. All this is bad enough for those with some insurance, let alone for those who don’t have any, as we’ve been in before with most of my previous jobs where none was offered and due to consecutive c-sections my DW was far too expensive to ever insure as she was considered too much a ‘hazard’ for the private insurance companies. Note: they only want to insure those who are safe bets for not actually requiring any of their services!

So much for remaining off serious topics as I keep trying to do for a while. Well you had to press me on the gun issue, didn’t you? Ha!. I suppose this blog must be my way of safely wrestling through my thoughts and not overburdening my DW with too much talk or criticism. As my wife loves to quote: “where there is much talk, there is sure to be sin!”

2005-07-23T23:11:00.000-04:00

Terrorists will be Terrorists!

Reading the reaction in London and elsewhere it amazes me that people actually give some credence to the terrorist attacks by stating that we have catalysed Al Qaida into action by our presence in Iraq. It's strikes me as so short range and naive even.

Are the latest attacks in Egypt due to Egypt's "occupation" in Iraq or other Muslim lands? Of course not. Note, one of the bars targeted was frequented almost exclusively by Egyptians and yet that didn't stop Al Qaida from blowing up 17 people there--all of them Egyptian Muslim "brothers". What of the frequent attacks in Bali, Indonesia, Thailand, Philippines, Chechnya, or the Islamist terror attacks with the "Hindus" in India? It goes far beyond just an issue of Allied troops being in Muslim lands, it goes to their desire to control and force their brand of Islamic extremism on all people (or force them to face death) -- all not just in the "defense" of Islam but in the propagation of it too. Remember, Mohammed himself was a warrior, leaving his family to fight a “Holy” war. A fair percentage of the population of this globe has even recently been taken over by Islam, or slaughtered trying to resist it, in previously non-Islamic lands, and this all within the last 15 years or so, from the Africa Continent to Asia and beyond. Again, these people weren't "occupying" any Muslim lands, yet they too came under the Scythe.

Aside from this, even the 'recent' outspoken clerics and imams who have condemned the "suicide" bombings in London fall short of actually condemning “all” terrorism though. Last week a large group of these leaders met, and even though they largely abhorred these particular homegrown suicide bombings, they could not unanimously decree that such action was wholly corrupt in "all" cases when used in the defense of Islam...such as those carried out in Israel or Iraq, for example. The jury was actually about equally split with half condemning all suicide of any sort and the other half acknowledging it was ‘condoned’ in some cases, as in the "martyrdom" mentioned above.

YouGov just did a massive opinion poll in Britain and although 3/4 's of the Muslims polled there were appalled at the recent attacks, a full 24% said they understood and even "sympathised" with the terrorists to some extent! Probing deeper, something like a quarter of them said they also didn't have any "particularly" strong allegiance to Britain as their sovereign state, with 8% going so far as to actually support a violent overthrow of government in place of an Islamic regime! So, when we're talking about those radical enough to do such an evil thing as deliberately suicide bombing innocent civilians (even when other Muslims are killed), we need to remember these militants are going to be far more vehement than those polled. Indeed it goes a lot further than just the Iraq equation!

Sure, these terrorists can now use Iraq as their latest modus operandi for their increased vehemence but we need to not be so quick to take their words and threats at face value or, worse yet, even justify it as some have in a sort of apologetic, embarrassing way. No, bullies will be bullies! It's no use appeasing them. Neville Chamberlain tried that with Hitler, turning a blind eye to the advancement of Nazism and their justification for the need to expand their might. He could understand their grievance, thinking they had been badly treated (after WWI) by the allies. (Sounds similar, doesn't it?) "Neutral" countries naively thought they'd be spared too, yet they only emboldened the oppressor. It is the same today -- bullies will be bullies -- and how much more so when driven by a dark religious fervour and visions of Celestial indulgence? In both cases the ends justify the means, just as the Koran states.

I imagine the progressive liberal 'peaceful', so called 'normal' Muslim, must have to make a rather awkward paradigm shift when facing the fact their own prophet was himself a voracious invader of foreign lands and certainly sections in the Koran support violent measures as jihad, etc. It's hard to get around and still honestly state Islam, to its core, is wholly a 'peaceful' religion! Indeed it is 'religion' though. Taken literally, it is oppressive, legalistic, and certainly not based on a relationship with the living God as true Christianity upholds. Matter of a fact, Islam even teaches that the true God (Allah) 'cannot ' be known and does not make himself known to mere mortals, let alone in daily life. How far removed from who ‘Abba’ (Daddy) Father God is, as revealed in and by Jesus who said He "must" die for us --taking up His bloodied cross, taking man’s scorn on our behalf. He knew no other way could be made to atone for our sin and to open up the gates of Heaven. Rather than bring judgment, He came to "seek" and save the lost.

When we speak of 'most' innocent Muslims being law abiding people who denounce terrorism, we might do well to consider that actually to some extent they aren't really devout Muslims; following more the latter religious edicts that came about centuries later after the Koran was written. I would even go so far as to suggest a large majority of these Muslims are more like our nominal Christians, in that they don't really believe in what their Holy book says, let alone hold tightly to their Prophets' teaching. They are more "culturally" Muslim, and yes, may even be ‘religious’ but that doesn't necessarily mean honest devotion, any more than it does in highly religious denominations within Christendom.

-"d"

2005-07-17T23:43:00.000-04:00

1776 by David McCullough

I have been reading "1776" Duncan, and it is truly a fascinating read. I am learning so much about the history of how America came to be. I'm learning how precarious was the situation of the Patriots, how they overcame such great odds. There are so many instances when the Lord intervened in amazing ways on behalf of our Nation.

It also is so interesting to learn how difficult the circumstances were for the American troops. My sense is that the greatest number of lives were lost on account of poor sewage sanitation leading to disease.

Another fascinating aspect is to learn the cultural differences between the New Englanders and the Virginians. My sense is that the New Englanders' heritage was from the middle and lower class of peoples, whereas the plantation system in the south was a vehicle of transmission for the culture of the aristocrats in England.

George Washington comes to life. He is so much more human to me now as I read about him in this book. You know Duncan, many of George's mannerisms remind me a lot of my other best friend, who himself is a descendant of a Georgia planter and still possesses those aristocratic airs described of the Virginia upper class. I find Southern culture to be so alien and averse to my nature, yet it definitely has a certain noble spirit to it that I find quite admirable.

The English commander, by way of contrast to George Washington, was so immoral. Do you know Duncan, there was a certain man who he put in charge of the prison at Boston, who had a very gorgeous wife, and according to this book he paid the man handsomely while sleeping with his wife, to the satisfaction of all parties.

I love history. I wish that I had known that growing up in my school and college days!

-e

2005-07-17T01:47:00.000-04:00

On Terrorism and Government, UK & US

Reading your rich commentary about English culture makes me very eager to travel there with you one day Duncan.

A few other quick things to mention along these lines... Another reason England could be more vulnerable to terrorism is that relative to the US, the people are more likely to respond by appeasement, whereas with America terrorism is more likely to provoke a fight. I also think that a larger proportion of English versus Americans are in favor of a Palestinian state. Also, anti-semitism is more widespread in England than in America.

To set the record straight, I want our readers to understand that when Duncan says "It seems that the Patriot Act is required to xyz...," that it seems that way to Duncan only, not to Elwyn. Also please note that unlike Duncan, Elwyn is a strong Second Ammendment advocate.

Regarding the Second Ammendment (gun control), hopefully Duncan you can see the relationship between this sacred right in America versus a nation that is highly surveilled by its government with CCTV's everywhere. Looking back on the 20th Century, anyone with a mind for history should be able to see the degree to which the Right to Bear Arms has been vindicated. The 20th Century is the bloodiest century in the history of the world, singly because of governments that were too powerful vis-a-vis the people that they governed.

By the way, what is a CCTV?

Now, here is a very thought-provoking, provocative thought. Who was history's first terrorist? He was a suicide bomber named Samson. He took down a building, killing himself along with everyone it it, including the women and children who were present.

- e

2005-07-16T15:45:00.000-04:00

Personal Freedoms

One point I wanted to add last night but didn't, is that although there might be a distinct disadvantage for this kind of home grown terrorism to arise in the UK, in another aspect Britain is actually at a greater advantage in cutting down such nasty developments, in that the police force is far more integrated ...and trained from the decades of IRA bombing, much as the Israelis' horrific experience has led them to be experts in this sort of thing, sending over their teams to help the West deal with bombings and such. Another 'advantage' in the UK, is that because there are fewer rights for the individuals it is harder to get away with things in some respects. As anyone can read, London, in particular, is the most surveilled modern free society. There are CCTV's everywhere, not just in London but in all the major industrial centres. Can you imagine it to such an extent here? The cries of "Big Brother" would grow even louder! Just look at the resistance to the Patriot Act endeavors or trying to have a greater, saner, measure of gun control. Unfortunately, it seems such drastic measures as the Patriot Act are required to defend against such an insidious enemy, but we know too, as Christians, how all of this plays into the enemy's grand scheme of eventual strict control.

-----
I wonder if "Ollie" has noticed fellow pedestrians looking at him suspiciously, unfortunately, having the same sort of ethnic look as the Bus bomber, actually looking somewhat like him, although I imagine he would deny it, liking to believe he is more "English" than that. Poor chap, even dreams he is white! But I can certainly understand. If one is born and raised in a country such as the UK, raised in private schools and such, one's identity is going to be more in that upbringing than one's racial heritage. My suggestion to him would be to avoid walking around with any large bags strapped to his back! I'm not trying to be horribly facetious, but that is reality these days. Actually, that shouldn't be too hard for him, having always had a penchant for plastic bags instead! As he often carries his little Bible with him, I suggest too that he carry around a bigger one instead ...holding it in his hands, unless when raining! That should help set things straight! OK, maybe that is overdoing it a bit but I am a little concerned, and probably should just pray for him a little more instead! He is the last person in the world to do any violence to anyone. A very decent man, but the fact is I am remembering someone very close to his mother was killed (stabbed) in a street not too far from where he lives, simply for being the wrong colour. Yes, this was back in the skinhead days 15+ years ago, but the embers of racism can never be underestimated, even in a place so culturally cosmopolitan as dear London.

-"d"

2005-07-15T21:10:00.000-04:00

Cultural Distinction vs. Isolationism, and enjoying one's culture

As the story of the British terrorists unfolds, I've been thinking more about the distinctions between Muslims here in the States vs. those in the UK. Obviously, anything noted is going to have to be made with generally broad stokes as there are, of course, always exceptions to the rule. So generally speaking....

Aside from the fact there are considerably more Muslims in Britain, and more Muslim immigrants from which strains of fanaticism can grow, there is another sobering condition which I feel puts Britain at a distinct disadvantage in restraining such home-grown future attacks versus those which might form from within the States. The issue revolves around these communities in Europe being considerably more "distinct" and, in that, far more isolated from the cultures around them than here in the States. We in America have often been rather looked down upon by our European counterparts in how immigrants and those of more recent foreign heritage are assimilated into our culture. It is not a compliment when we're called a "melting pot"--i.e. all the colourful, unique flavours of various cultures are lost in a 'bland' homogeney soup of sorts in the process and goal of assimilation. Whereas in Europe one's heritage is far more likely to be kept distinct and in that 'separate' from the surrounding community at large. I mean look at how even Switzerland is separated into three culturally distinct groups, suffering from culturally superior/distinct positioning..and that's between Caucasian groups, all Swiss!

The wonder of remaining culturally distinct in every day life is the ability to enjoy a more colourful culture but the dangers therein are also seen. Britain has areas where it is so heavily 'foreign', where the percentage of foreign descent natives and immigrants is so high that the average English stock person can almost seem like the minority. That would be totally fine perhaps for most cultures but those that are more akin to breeding extremism. In these sub-cultures' desire to maintain their roots they tend to further alienate themselves from others, and conversely the resistance to them is further catalysed by those domestic elements not open to change or difference. It becomes a cycle of resistance leading to furthering racism.

I am not just thinking of these Muslim sub-cultures but also others, like Brixton, where there were intense racial riots in the 80's in communities very largely Jamaican and West Indian--a people who felt alienated from the mainstream. Now, mix fundamentalist interpretations of religion as in elements within Islam and load up economic oppression as many of these communities have too and you have a volatile cocktail; one ripe for the seeds of terrorism. This is the other major factor: looking at these places like Leeds, or worse yet, some of the other Muslim communities across Europe where you find practically ghettos from Germany to Paris, and all over you see marked economic and cultural isolationism. Here is a pointed difference with the American model.

In America the average Muslim, and Arab immigrant, is very well assimilated, and as a result oftentimes enjoying the fruits thereof. Muslims here are far better off economically and otherwise than many of their counterparts in Europe. Yes, they may be more 'melted' into our American culture and less distinct but is that so bad? Yes, some things are lost but in its place we often find a greater oneness and acceptance. There is a feeling more so that we are all one, all American, all equal, united under one flag. In Britain, there isn't just the issue of cultural distinctions but also the residue of a class system, often unspoken, but very real, which only further alienates one form others ...for good and bad.

It is ironic that even though we in the U.S. may be more of a melting pot, I have seen generally a far greater acceptance of one's heritage and if anything, generally it is actually celebrated. For example, kids coming from other countries generally enjoy a greater celebration of what makes them different from their peers, be they British, Italian, Chinese or what have you. Compare this to the usual experience of similar foreign or 'different' kids in typical towns in England and you will see a far greater likelihood of bullying as a result of their differences. Of course, it goes on in the States too and in some areas more so than others, but I am talking about average income and population middle class America vs. the same sort of communities in England. My cousin's son, although only half American yet half English, is bullied incessantly for his differences ...and that's with American vs. British. Imagine how much worse it can be when the differences are even more remarked. I see and read about it again and again.

In spite of the melting pot effect here there is so much more celebration of one's differences in most parts, and yet, ironically enough, greater assimilation, in turn leading to greater economic, social reward. It is rather harder, I should imagine, for the seeds of Islamic extremism to take deep root here where so many of the would be recipients have lived off the fat of the land, so to speak. Muslims here tend to be better educated, and better off in all aspects. For us the danger more lies with that originating and cultivated from outside our US borders.

So, maybe Europe and even Britain can learn something from America in all this. One thing that I think Britain would do well in is learn to be a little more self-aggrandising. In Britain an immigrant isn't given the same sort of pledge of allegiance to the flag and what it stands for as one would have if immigrating to the US. There isn't as much talk about the pillars of what makes a Briton great, what makes Britain great, in spite of the nation's name. It seems almost foolish and childish to go around waving Union Jacks and that sort of thing as the 'crass Americans' do. Yes, it might be a bit too much the other way here, but the fact is there is a real identity with what makes Americans American and that real sense of national identity is regularly, unabashedly, celebrated and discussed. When done in Britain one gets the distinct feeling it's almost done apologetically, particularly among the upper classes. I always remember my mother saying how "We" (English) just don't do that sort of thing"--it's not proper, not "English", referring to national days like July 4th, etc, or Cinco De Mayo as other countries/cultures do. Britain, specifically England, has traditionally felt uncomfortable with such fervour and fanfare..and yet when I speak to fellow English they/we are very patriotic it's just we're not very comfortable showing it, and so it isn't learned and cultivated within immigrant communities to the degree it would be here. No, rather we find our identity in self-deprecating humour so often, funny as that can well be. It is ironic because really it is America more than perhaps anywhere that has helped maintain the 'English' identity as something to find honourable, mainly through the media in movies, etc, well, when the English aren't being used to play the bad guys that is!! Ha.

Well, I'm getting off topic a little now, but I have noticed that in the last decade in particular there has been a resurgence of enjoying being English among some die- hoards and groups of Brits. One if far more likely to see the 'English' flag (the Georgian Cross, not the British Union Jack) being waved around than ever before, even among more upwardly mobile classes, and one has to wonder if in part we have the EU's attempted overpowering to thank!

After some distractions, I think I'll end it there.

BTW, I am trying to figure out how to have separate "contributors" so Elwyn and I can sign in with our own names and have our own profiles instead of lumping these too together and having to call out our initials for distinction. I guess our own blog is also a melting pot of sorts. What a thought!

-"d"

2005-07-12T00:49:00.000-04:00

Triumph and Tragedy ...and reflecting on a
continued friendship

It goes without saying that this terrorist attack, like any, and like the prior IRA bombings, is deplorable and sickening. My heart goes out to all those who have lost loved ones.

Rather than re-hash what is readily available for any of you to read, I will try to keep this account more personal.

How quickly life can change. I called my best friend in London, “Ollie”, to see how he was doing after the bombings. (Finally got ahold of him after midnight G.M.T.) I knew he travelled through Victoria station every morning, where many of the stranded travelers gathered, so imagined him being stuck, not able to get home very easily. Actually, I wasn’t certain if he might not go through one of the bombed areas but thought probably not but one never knows. Thankfully, he had already got to his work at the Home Office before everything began. By the time he left for home, transport had started running again and he was able to divert his trip to Waterloo instead.

He mentioned how just the day before co-workers were hooting and hollering and even dancing in the office at the news of the 2012 Olympic bid victory. From singing and dancing to this news all in one day seemed so surreal. Two of his co-workers happened to be running late for work, and, if they had left on time, could have been on one of those tubes, or the bus. Thankfully everyone was accounted for.

Years after I left London to come to the States, my family also left one by one (far too expensive, for starts.), well, save for a distant older cousin. I did though wonder if my solicitor cousin might be going into the City that day but evidently not.

London is such a densely built and populated ancient city with essentially villages within villages, “boroughs” as we call them, that what may only be 2-3 miles away from one’s own neighbourhood (as these bombs would have been), might as well be 20-50 miles, in that such areas as the financial district targeted are not areas one would have any usual need to go to, unless one happened to work there in banking, be a broker or such, or traveled through on the way to somewhere else. It is not primarily residential, and thankfully, although close to the British Museum, not comparatively touristy. Of course, with that said there are tourists everywhere getting from one place to another, particularly through Kings Cross up to the country where most my immediate family now lives.

Ollie noted that (as with all of us I should imagine), if anything, he was surprised a terrorist bombing like this hadn’t happened earlier…and didn’t happen in Westminster. Regularly on his way in to the Home Office, next to the Houses of Parliament, he sees angry young Middle Eastern descent British, and probably foreigners too, protesting and shouting one thing and another. (They have actually been happy when allied troops have been killed.) It makes me sick to think so many of them are and can be British, let alone Londoners (however, they can never be truly "English", in terms of race anyway), but that is the price we pay and have paid for the loftier goal of free speech, immigration, and of course the consequences of colonization!

Later I plan to discuss some reflections on the Muslim radical situation in the UK verses here in the States, but first I want to share some of the feelings I had when I awoke to hear the news after my mother called me from England telling me to turn on the TV (at 5:00 am) my time. My first feelings, aside from the obvious, were anger that I couldn’t get any of our local channels to show anything. Instead they were discussing just how safe is Denver from such attacks! Come on--folks, we aren’t even on the map!! One local journalist ignorantly quipped, “Well, now they know what it’s like to face terrorism on the home front, as we have since 9—11.” Had he completely forgotten the nasty IRA bombings, such as the massive car bomb during the hugely crowded Christmas sales in Harrods on one of their busiest days, that caused wide-spread horror, injury and death, or the billions of dollar/pounds damaged in the last IRA financial district bombing, etc, etc?! I know I will never forget the Harrods one as I was meant to be going there that day but also got delayed-thank God. It was just so awful. We cried for days as the stories of personal loss unfolded--I wanted to go and invade (the Republic of) Ireland at that time and round up all IRA sympathisers too! (Thank God no one was paying attention to emotional schoolboys!) But, needless to say, these atrocities nevertheless, although less deaths, at the time were perhaps even more horrific and emotionally draining for the average Brit. With the post 9-11 world all of us have grown to expect such terror and in that have become a little too numb perhaps. Well, anyway, finally I found some news on Fox and then the other channels started having some too. I lashed out mentally at living in such a remote part of the world where the average citizen is so ignorant of world affairs and so inward focused—my way of suppressing the rising sadness and my own frustrations that I was so far removed and couldn’t do anything to really help anyone there practically, and, yes, wanting to be there at the same time!

During the day at work I thought about Ollie. I imagined he was OK but did wonder what it would be like if for some tragic reason he happened to be one of the countless victims. I was just glad none of my immediate family lives there anymore (although as an aside--it would be far nicer if they did when visiting my old home town, rather then now trekking up to the country and back at such vast expense. Lovely as it is, it is not my home turf in the same way London is as that’s where I spent most of my maturing years to young adulthood and where my memories were formed). However, good ol’ Ollie has been there his whole life and one of my few friends who remains there! Although a different race, a different background, he is like a brother to me -- we first met when I was only 9 at a small all boys Primary school and then later went on to the same “high school” through post A-levels, preparing for University.

As I waited to see if he was OK I imagined again what my life would have been like if I hadn’t moved out Stateside –very, very different for sure! It annoyed me that only two people at my work even bothered to ask me if I was OK, etc, almost all knowing I am from London and hearing me on the phone with others. (Again, inward focused!..but other friends including "E" called me or my wife at home which meant a lot that they cared enough to bother to call.) I pondered all the things Ollie still wanted to achieve and do and some of his frustrations, and all the laughs and countless hours of conversations we had had over tea and biscuits, going on mad dashes to various churches across London late at night, fancying certain girls but never having the guts to ever make our teen affections known, etc, etc. We had both grown as young pseudo pre-Christians to making public confessions of faith together at a Louis Pallau (sp?) meeting, to following Christ, to engaging our faith in rather immature ways with fellow school boys, to church at HTB, etc, etc. When I moved here and was so desperately lonely he was the life-line for me, the recipient of long, multi-page depressed ramblings of a Londoner now stuck in what, at the time, seemed like the absolute sticks, where, I felt, I had gone absolutely mad for coming here and yet couldn’t admit defeat! Anyway, as you can tell, Ollie is really the only person who shares memories of my life there, other than my family of course, and yet as a peer is one who also uniquely shares so many the same school joys and agonies, etc.

The thought of losing such a dear friend was just so odd. I knew I’d go to his funeral but even got silly thinking that even if he had died I probably wouldn’t even get to go as he wouldn’t have written my number down anywhere and his Aunt wouldn’t think to call me! Is that silly or what? I am so fortunate that that was the extent of my concerns. My younger sister was actually also meant to be in London this week for the VE day celebrations they had today, but as it turns out, just as well she couldn’t afford to go or who knows if she mightn’t have been at Kings Cross that day.

I am still dealing with all this, processing it, but, as promised, next entry will discuss some of the issues at hand with this sort of terrorism. I have so much to write about but not enough time, not tonight anyway. For the last few days I have been really missing London, particularly as this dreadful heat rises to the upper 90’s. Yet, I am also reminded of all my blessings. My darling wife and beautiful, well behaved, loving children, let alone dear family/friends in the Lord. Thank you God for your Mercies!

-"d"

P.S. "E", how was your day? Prayed for you.

2005-07-07T06:55:00.000-04:00

Go Pick a Fight for Independence

Duncan, my situational analysis on the state of affairs in the mother country is that what is needed is, in the words of Bravehart's Wallace, to "go pick a fight." England's long history of being the oppressing power that takes over the sovereignty of others causes you to look to the channels of political party (UKIP) and the court system (UKIP)--instruments that are too weak for your desired end. Brussels isn't far. Isn't that like me traveling from Philadelphia to Boston? Or from Denver to Albequerque or something like that? Since this cause is so popular, what if 10,000,000 Englishmen mobilized onto Brussels to give it a full immersion in English culture without regard for their laws... They could wear traditional dress, have Beatles concerts at various places, and using parade floats in public parks they could do re-enactments of navy battels in which the British blasted Belgian clipper ships to smithereens. Vendors could set up their stands to sell haggis and unspecified Scottish delicacies. Finally, 10,000,000 posters could be hung up, specifying 100 new English rules that fly in the face of Beglgian tradition, for the residents of Brussels to observe during your English occupation. For the glory of the Lord, Duncan, get off that calculating English ass and go kick some Belgian butt-ocks!

- E

2005-07-05T22:22:00.000-04:00

The Fight for UK Independence!

Alright! Elwyn is on board! Now I'm the one slacking here!

My thoughts on replacing O'Connor? I don't have any really… well, any that haven't already been shared plenty by others. All I know is, like most, I want someone who is going to interpret the laws fairly and not revise them for their own (often liberal leaning) political/moral agendas.

Coming off of the 4th, it seems apropos to discuss another move for independence, also involving Britain, but this one being present-day Britain retaining her sovereignty against a rising European Super State, centred in Brussels, dictating laws and customs to British nationals. My family actually voted for the United Kingdom Independence Party in the last elections, as no doubt I would if there. The party's goal is to remove the UK entirely from the European Union (EU) as it is more of a corrupt Franco-German power base for European control than anything else. It is, much like the UN, corrupt and also anti- open/honest free trade. Britons were duped into it back when Heath was Prime Minister and have, as yet, never even been allowed to actually vote on whether we want to further lose independence and come under the dictates of some European Constitution. To that degree, thankfully Britain was sensible enough not to give up her own Sterling for the Euro.

I remember several years back billboards all over London boldly advertising “Brussels Spouts”, stating that Brussels writes some vast number of laws a day (can’t remember what the number was now) that (eventually) Britons must follow! Some of these laws are so inane. Silly laws such as sticks and wood gathered from one’s own land needing to be bundled correctly, wood chopped at the exact angles and dimensions as defined by the EU, etc., even if just to sell to one’s neighbours, and even having to use certain environmentally safe cloth bags (made in France at the time) as opposed to just using one’s own left over grocery bags from the local store, when selling and bagging home grown vegetables! As a result my family is aware of local villagers who have had to close up shop, so to speak, simply because it’s too cost prohibitive to do it the way EU mandates and they can’t afford the risk of being penalized by the EU government! I am just trying to personalize it, but there is, of course, far more serious and expansive tasks at hand. Some policies that come to mind include the failed attempt to rezone 40 traditional county councils to 8 regional assemblies each linked to Brussels, or the whole fishing and farming subsidies fiasco which is too long to get into here. However, if interested in learning more, some sites to consider would include UKIP’s or This England’s, let alone the every now and then excellent editorials in the Daily Telegraph. Thankfully, with the Referendums on the EU Constitution in France and Netherlands being soundly rejected, much to their leaders' chagrin, all the seriousness about whether Blair would actually allow Britons to have a referendum (finally) or not is now a relatively moot point as they can’t even get France on board! (Although, with that said, I think it would be wise for the public to keep pressing the government for a referendum nonetheless, just so "we, the people" can be heard!) Isn’t it ironic that we have the anti-British sentiment of the French socialists to thank for the “non” vote when all along they were suggesting it was too corrupted by the trade policies of apparent British origin? Ha! Well, either way, we can thank God that the New Roman Empire has hit a few (albeit temporary) roadblocks.

For a good (pseudo tongue-in-cheek) laugh about this sort of thing, you might enjoy reading today's Telegraph commentary on Mr. Chirac's latest fiasco.

- "d"

2005-07-04T08:41:00.000-04:00

In Philly on the 4th of July

Today I spend July 4th in the city where it all started. I wish you were here Duncan, and we could go and watch the fireworks from Independence Hall!

Yesterday we spent the day with my wife's brother and sister-in-law. He said that blogging can become very addictive and time consuming. We'll see! At least, with you and I, the time won't be wasted since we'll be spending it together. Without blogging, predictive modeling suggests we would drift apart. But through blogging, I am convinced we will grow even closer. That is, if Duncan starts to blog. :)

When I first got to their house, they put me in charge of following around their oldest daughter of 7 years, who was born with microcephaly. They said, "visual monitoring will not do -- she needs arms' length monitoring." Does she ever! As she walks around, she is continuously picking things up from the ground and putting them into her mouth to chew on them. She easily could choke on something and die.

Later on, we filled up their large yard-pool. All the kids got in, and this little daughter of theirs really became a wild one--what a perfect picture of freedom. She would lay down on her back in the ankle-deep water and thrash around, smiling, then roll over to catch a mouthful. She would stand up and bounce up and down, waving her arms with a huge grin on her face. All the while that she splashed about wildly she was grunting, making some kind of gleeful animal noise. My brother-in-law says she likes the Jersey shore even better.

Did you watch Bush' speech last week? He said that we're to do something special for a family that is in the Armed Forces for the 4th today. I thought of this family that has a boy the age of our 6-year-old boy, and was in his class. He is a middle-aged man -- I believe he had been in the reserve since the Vietnam war. Never once did he get called up until Iraq. He was gone 6 months. He is an independent business owner. Since he lacked employees that he could hand things over to, operations fell on his wife, who seemed to suffer hardship from it all. Anyway, I was thinking of them. I haven't talked to Amy yet, but I was wondering what we could send to them. Maybe something from Philadelphia would be meaningful to them! Maybe a vial of dirt from Valley Forge?

I was there at Valley Forge with the kids last week. One thing I learned: the reason they had such poor provisions is that the British had control of Philadelphia. The kids got to see three soldiers and a camp-girl speak, and the soldiers fired a couple of salutes to the men and women of Valley Forge. One point they made was that besides the 20,000 men, there were some number of women, who helped with the cooking and cleaning. For the most part, they were the wives of a few of the soldiers. They slept in the same cabins as the men, so in a cabin there might have been two sets of triple-bunks, one of them sleeping a woman. In other words, rather than having separate cabins for the women, they slept in the cabins that their husbands were sleeping in, along with 4 other soldier-brothers.

What are your thoughts on this whole process of replacing OConner?

2005-06-30T11:35:00.000-04:00

Spurring Love On

Good morning Duncan.

Our family just finished driving from Colorado to suburban Philadelphia. Our party included my wife and I and our four kids, whose ages when rounded out step up to 2, 4, 6, and 8. We made the trip two weeks ago. What have I seen?

The theme that sticks out at me is that I have seen lovers. Two, behind a department store, in a parking lot where no cars were parked, their VW with a car door open, and them making out. Needing a parking space, I pulled up about five spaces down from them, and by the time I returned from my errand, others needing parking had completely surrounded them. Perhaps that's what kept them in check, since when I first saw them it seemed like there was no holding them back. When I got back, there they were flirting as they were saying goodbye. She was teaching him words in English. He was a young immigrant who looked like he had swam across the Rio Grande on some night then trecked across some Texan desert till dawn. She was fashionably dressed -- perhaps an employee at the department store behind which she'd parked. She looked radiant, like an angel, and completely innocent on account of her youth. Love was the only language they shared.

That whole Narberth area seems to be buzzing with Spring hormones even though we're almost to July. Based on how the women dress, most of them are trying to land some fish into their boat.

When I drove across Nebraska in the night, I went into an A&W's and saw a healthy group date that felt like the 1950s. Three cowboys had large cowboy hats and worn cowboy boots--each with spurs that looked very worn. I wanted to ask them if they really used the spurs and learn more about it, but I chickened out, and so remained in my own world after failing to establish communications with this alien race. They looked to be in their young 20s or late teens. Their women, like the men who went with them, were tall and husky. Each couple shared a rootbeer float. How I wish I could have sat down near them and listened to what they talk about! But the restaurant was empty, even though this was probably the only open place at this time of night for 100 miles.

Last weekend we went to Wildwood--the southern end of the Jersey shore. The people on the beach make a 50-meter band that stretches as far as you can see in either direction. The band is made up of groups--either friends, family, or couples. The predominant type of group has both guys and girls, in their late teens and early 20s. The group might have couples that are paired up, or just a mix and match of friends. They were laying out on the beach, enjoying the sun, and talking.

One couple I saw fighting. I saw a guy fling a cup of his spit out sunflower seeds at his lover, into her hair.

Lovers and love dominate the existence of our race, but how well do we understand it all? As for me, I have either been swept up by it, left out, or left wondering what changed, but I never understood anything about it. Isn't there a Proverb about that? "There are three things that are too great -- too lofty to understand. The way of a ship on the sea, some other thing which I don't recall right now, and the way of a man with his maiden."

Anyway, finally I have all the technology and know-how to join you in blogging up the arteries of the worldwide web. I read your first post yesterday, and in case anyone is reading this, let me start by just bursting any bubble of expectations that has formed around me. Nor am I going to tell our hoped-for-readership the many things that I admire about you Duncan--things which you well know. They will see for themselves why they will want to frequent our domain!

Maybe our situation is like that of a baby being born, who can't be expected to tell you his purpose in life. Even you and I can't do that, and together we share about 75 years on this planet! When a child begins to speak, rather than being philosophical he speaks out of his context. Thus I have begun.

- E

Into the blogosphere...

2005-06-16T20:28:00.000-04:00

Well, let's begin this online journey with a couple of questions you might be wondering:

Q. "Why "a" and not "The" for our blog name?
A. "The" sounds far too 'self-grandiose' for a blog that is written by two Christian guys on nothing in particular but to see what transpires in the course of writing such a blog. It is simply a blog. What kind of blog? A Duncan-Elwynn blog!

Q. Who's 'Duncan-Elwyn' and why the hyphenation?
A. Actaully, it's our online 'names'. Yes, rather dorky, we know, but, hey, it rhymes! I have to admit I do rather picture some real dweeb in glasses sort of muttering 'Hugh Grant-isms' in a 'Woody Allen-ish' whine! Love it though!..Now, not that there is anything wrong with glasses mind you! No, certainly not! Wonderful thing glasses ...several of my best friends wear them...well, OK, so none of my best friends wear glasses actaully, but ...Oh never mind!--Back to the blog name, quick! Just like these two names make up one online name, so is this blog -- one blog, but two bloggers. A little more about who each of us are later ...perhaps.

Q. Why this blog?
A. Several reasons I suppose:
1. It's a way to maintain a discussion, a friendship, to enjoy a shared venture now that one of us is moving away.
2. It's easier to maintain a blog when two people contribute instead of all left up to one lowly writer!
3. "Working together to get things done is twice the work and half the fun!" Oops!! -Always get that the wrong way around! My DW (darling wife) loves to quote this, 'inspiring' us lot into action. I think the only reason it works is we always end up laughing over one of us invariably getting it backwards! :)
4. Elwyn is a barrel of ideas ready to explode! The man has a new idea, a new invention, or new proposal for how to have things within the church or in business just about every day and someone has to tone him down a bit! Elwyn is an eternal optimist, maybe not as much so as my DW but nevertheless compared to me, most certainly is! He's always seeing new opportunites, whereas I tend to gravitate towards the negative, irritatingly so, oftentimes finding humour in the journey of obstructions along the way. (Well often long after the event but at least I usually get there eventually.) But come on now, it's good to have another to keep me in check too! OK, so maybe the 'need' is really not that pressing but there's an interesting combination here, don't you think? Who knows where this blog might lead!

Q. So then, what will this blog be about?
A. Frustration primarily. Next question? :)

No actually, see above. No formalized ideas at this point. Random ramblings most likely. Will anyone else find this interesting or fun to read? Will we even? Will our incredibly busy, yet loyal wives even and what about our kids? Maybe not but the proof is in the pudding ..or should I say 'blogging', right? This is primarily for our musing. If anyone else joins in, wonderful. Either way. Blogging is just one way of keeping the creative juice flowing. But it's probably safe to assume it will be controversial at times and definitely touch on issues of our shared Christian faith.

Funny, but my own jolly pastor even said I was a "little prick" and in a prayer of sorts!--Nothing intentially wrong meant by this of course (at least that's what he assures me) but to say that I am like the little 'pricker' of conscience, or something like that, in the body of Christ! :| Yes, actaully, we both tend to be rather outspoken I suppose.

Now, to clarify that what one of us writes may not necessarily be the opinion of the other blogger! All matter is however copyrighted and may not be used for any other purpose without pre-written authorization. (Talk about self-aggrandizing legalese?! Ugh.)

OK, this is a good stopping point. I've been assured by "Elwyn" that he will somehow manage to contribute something tonight before his travels, or is that travails? 'Back' to you "E"!

- "d"